Parampreet Singh, or Pappu as the rest of the world knew him, was like any other man. He craved for the same things everyone did – money, pl...
The SICASA (South Indian Chartered Accountant Student Assosciation) conference was held on the 17th and 18th of December. I had expected som...
I was mostly right. But you know what they say, every cloud has a silver lining.
No, No I'm not talking about the free food they gave us there. It was Pattu Sir's (My Financial Management teacher) presentation. More than the presentation, it was this one video.
Disclaimer : Its not a funny vid by any means. Its inspirational type and it kicks ass!
Well now you know why, In Pattu We Trust.
You can read his entire speech over at his blog
How can you not love Indian Weddings? The smoke, the noise, the Mama (Purohit) shouting at everyone and of course, the hapless bride and gro...
I am the honoured recipient of a certain award which recognizes blogging excellence. This, was awarded to me by Mr.Maxdavinci , celebrity...
The fuel crisis today, has pushed many people out of business, but the Gulf continues to prosper. It seems that the Arabs have found an alte...
Speaking of the middle east, the people of the land are completely vexed over the many security issues plaguing them. The locals strongly attribute their trauma to the Bush administration, and more so its inefficient Secretary of State who, they believe, didn't Rice to the occasion.
Entertainment news now, and apparently a popular Victoria's Secret Model has admitted herself into the Intensive Care Unit of a prestigious hospital in Mumbai right out of her continuous 20 hour Intercontinental flight. The hospital's experts have concluded her illness to jetty lag.
In related news, a Calvin Klein underwear model stormed into the premises of the Worldspace radio network today, stating that he wanted to be a Jockey.
On other news, the neighborhood psycho couple have filed for divorce over an unhappy sex life. Sources confirm that their relationship could only have been "absolutely mental"
Source : CNN - Chutney News Network
In a rather shocking turn of events, it seems that the God himself has issued a rather strong message of condemnation with reference to the ...
“I think like, what he’s like trying to like, say, is that he’s like pissed” said one leading cryptologist, following “The Finger” conclusion which was reached after much research and references with the latest technology in Cryptic Sciences, including the Harry Potter series.
With terrorism spreading everywhere in the world, this message comes as what could be a sign of things to come, say some other experts. “Dude, this is God showing the finger to those terrorist bastards, man. It’s a sign of like hope and maybe some more weird-ass things that could happen. Maybe it’s that Judgment Day thing that people keep talking about in Sunday School. I hope that’s covered in my Insurance, man.” said David Kinsley, President of The-International-Organization-Which-Holds-Emergency-Meetings-Whenever-There’s-A-Finger-In-The-Sky, after their emergency meeting in Geneva, whose attendance included Angelina Jolie-Pitt and her 25 children.
* - "It is unfortunate that these terrorists kill innocent lives in the name of God. Jihad is wrong, and pretty soon, God is going to be taking some serious action"
** - This picture, a fine example of excellence in photojournalism was taken by our special corespondent Ms.Chutney. Really.
No no, my Hindi hasn't improved or anything. This is just the name of the latest chips variety the folks back at home have come up with....
In another highly recommended video, we can see the effect of the current global recession on our NRI population. This is a highly prized piece of evidence which was discovered after much random clicking around in Youtube.:
In case you're wondering, I do not know these wonderful men personally. But I sincerely wish I did.
Have a Happy Thursday!
"Mom, I've decided to get married." The Seshadhris were only too ecstatic to here these words pop out of their elder son...
The Seshadhris were only too ecstatic to here these words pop out of their elder son's mouth, yet afraid at the the same time. After all, their son did study in the United States for 3 years. And from what they heard from their neighbours, the States "do things" to perfectly normal sons. What if he wanted to marry a white girl? The blasphemy! How would they ever explain to their relatives?
"Indian no?", Mrs.Seshadhri asked, nervously.
"Oh thank god! Chamathu da nee. We'll see the girl tomorrow!And I'll have to call all our relatives to inform them. Ha! First I'll call your aththai. Her son went to the states and ended up with one of those...punjabi a? Ya, punjabi-o ennavo. But my son? Chamatha Iyengar ponnu paathutaan."
"What? I know I'm getting excited but its not everyday your son gets married! First ponnu paakanum. Give me her address."
"I can't give the girl's address."
"Why not? " interrupted Mr.Seshadhri. "Is it because they don't know? Its okay, we'll convince them"
"No, its because there is no girl"
"Ennada solra?" chorused the parents.
"I am in love with an Iyengar, yes. But its not a girl. Its a boy"
"Is this some kind of TV show? Is some shanniyan going to come with a camera and say all this is some joke? I know! Vijay TV-la Simbhu is doing something like this. He's going to come now, isn't he?"
"No mom, nobody's behind your almirah. This is real. I want to get married to him and him only"
"This is not normal, you know that?"
"Appa, who're you to say that it's not normal? How do you know that it isn't normal? I want to get married to him and that's the end of it" and he stormed out of the room.
The Seshadhris were appalled, and did what any other parents would do when presented with such a private confession. They called the entire family over to discuss it.
Mamas, Mamis, Thathas, Paatis, Chithappas, Chiththis, Aththais, Athimbers, Perippas, Perimmas and a motley crew of cousins promptly assembled to exchange their views over filter coffee and masala vadais.
"Enna kodumai Seshadri idhu"
"This is not the time to joke, its a very serious issue pa. Namma community-la this is just not done"
"Are you sure about this? I mean was he joking?"
"Will anybody joke about things like this? Avan serious-a dhaan irukaan. He's gay."
"Amma Amma, what's a gay?" interrupted 6 year old Achu, loudly.
"Sshhh, Achu. Go play outside with Kichu." said his visibly embarassed mother.
Achu promptly ran outside hollering KICHU! GAY-NA BAD WORD DA!
"Yea. I'm hoping he gets a girlfriend soon."
"Shree, he's 6"
"The earlier the better. And I'm so not sending him to the US"
"Not everyone turns out like that. My son married a perfectly nice girl. Enna, she's punjabi. But very nice girl."
"You know she has a beard, right?"
"Oh please! At least she's a girl."
"Enough enough. This is not about her daughter-in-law's beard. Idhu konjam serious-aana matter."
"Yes yes. There are so many fundamental complications"
"Like if this marriage does go on, who gets to be the Maapla veedu?"
"Chechu make it clear to them that we will be the groom's house. We will demand our rights"
"Hey, who gets to tie the thaali?"
"Will there even be a thaali?"
"Maybe they'll tie a golden poonal around him"
"One more doubt. The girl usually sits on her father lap when they tie the thaali. Does this mean that the son sits on his mothers lap? How does that work exactly?"
"Yea! And then usually the girl wears that special koora-podavai before she ties the knot. Do we have to get this guy a koora-veshti?"
"Atleast you'll save on all those silk sarees."
"And that Mehndi thing. Unless your son wants it, ofcourse"
"Hahahaha! Thats so g...nothing"
An uncomfortable silence followed, but was swiftly interrupted by the Periappa.
"Come to think of it, that golden poonal will weigh a lot"
"Does your future...err son-in-law cook?"
"Aiyo! Don't call him son-in-law! I don't even want this to happen!"
"Maybe you should do that. Vidaatha. Then he'll come around"
"No way, then he'd elope. Odi poyiduvaan!"
"Thats not good for the family name."
"Thu! As if marrying a boy is very honourable."
"And besides, eloping-na, usually the girl runs away, gets a baby and then only gets accepted back in the household. This is how it is in all tamil padams"
"Ok, but how the heck are these guys going to get a baby?"
"My point exactly, so they won't elope"
"Which is worse. What if they get together like those villains in Vettaiyaadu Villaiyaadu?"
"Aiyo! That's a movie about homosexual psychopaths! You're son is too sensitive for that. He cried in the climax of Kabhi Khushi Kahi Gham, for heaven's sake!.
"Appove we should have noticed..."
"You think there's some kind of homeopathy treatment for this? Or Ayurveda? Some kashayam or something?"
"No no, its a state of mind. No kashayam can cure it"
"Or should we send him to a psychiatrist?"
"Illa. Those psyciatrists are Peter parties. They'll end up brainwashing us about how we are educated and must accept him the way he is"
"Adhaan pannanum" said Mr.Seshadhri, finally.
The entire household went mute.
"You mean...we have to get him married? To that...that boy?"
"Only then, he'll be happy."
"Aiyo sentiment thaangamudila"
"My decision is final. I'll go call him and find that other boy's number. I have plenty to talk to his parents."
The household watched him go with a rather stern resolve in absolute silence. The only sound was the jowku-jowku of Paati eating Vadai.
"Enna paati? What do you think?" said one of the cousins, finally breaking yet another uncomfortable silence.
"Ennadhaan payyana love pannaalum, atleast Iyengar payyana paathu love pannane, adhuve porum"
Translation for the last line: Even though he loved a boy, at least he loved an Iyengar boy, that's enough for me.
UPDATE: I have to give credit to 2 other people for this actually.
1) Idling in Top Gear - It was a conversation with him that sparked off the whole thing. Thanks anna :)
2) Vanilla Vats - The line "KICHU! GAY NA BAD WORD DA!" is an adaptation of one of Miss.Vat's actual quotes.
Now that I've mentioned you guys, please stop the death threats. thank you.
I've always been a right weirdo and proud of it. In any case, stith-gaaru has tagged me to actually elaborate on my weirdo-ness, so wi...
1. I count everything. And I have to have it down in even numbers. I cannot stand odd numbers other than 5. My obsession with even numbers even makes me buy stuff that way. When I'm eating Kit-Kat, I cannot eat just one segment and leave the other three. I have to have two or I finish the whole thing. Hell, even when I sevichufy (prostrate, for all you non-tamils) I do it in even numbers. If I'm timing something and I finish it, I make sure I press "end timer" ONLY when its on 0 or a 5. This is one of the reasons I enter panic mode if any of my problems (accounts/costing/math) don't have a perfect answer and come in decimals. I sit and rework the entire problem in order to convince myself that I did do it right.
2. I have this commentary running in my head throughout. Its this weird voice talking about everything around me, with me. When the voice switches on (which is pretty much most of the time), I switch off, or space out. I'm pretty much in head's little talk show most of the time. And the inner voice person is really funny too. Which is why lots of people catch me sitting with a smug smile in my face for no apparent reason.
Sometimes I'm spaced out for days.
3. When I wake up, I stare at the ceiling fan for 5 full minutes. And see it spin. Somehow my day doesn't start right if I don't do the staring thing. It's where I get to contemplate about the things that I should have said, shouldn't have said, should have said but didn't, shouldn't have said but did, should never say but invariably end up saying, should always say but never, and yea, you get the picture.
4. I don't store data in my head. I store media. I take pictures. I direct commercials, music videos and movies. I can write entire screenplays off little incidents in my life. And somehow, I remember the stupidest of details, even the impossibly minute ones. Let me remind you that the incredible memory works only when I'm not spaced out. When I'm in my own world, there could be a giant billboard on Mount Road proclaiming me to be the Royal Queen of England and I wouldn't have noticed.
5. When people are upset, they do a lot of things to get it out of their system. Some write it out, some scream it out. I sleep it out. If I'm upset about something, the first thing I do is go to bed. And sleep. Life automatically becomes enjoyable when you close your eyes.
6. I cannot stand partially closed doors or windows. It has to be fully closed or fully open. This almost closed/open business irritates the hell out of me. I go out of my way to make sure the door is closed because otherwise I get distracted and jittery.
These are only 6 quirks of course. I have plenty more, and I'm still discovering!
And you're up to take the tag. It's plenty fun.
My telephone bill this month is Rs.204.50. Take out the mandatory rental (inclusive of service tax) we are left with a grand total of Rs.3. ...
Take out the mandatory rental (inclusive of service tax) we are left with a grand total of Rs.3.
I think this explains the state of my "social" life to a great extent.
3 bucks phone usage.
More than me, I feel sorry for Airtel. They must be wondering where all their business disappeared.
I had a crush on Brett Lee for 4 years. But now I know where his heart really is. Why, Brett, WHY? Sigh. This always happens wit...
I had a crush on Brett Lee for 4 years. But now I know where his heart really is.
Why, Brett, WHY?
Sigh. This always happens with all the boys I like.
UPDATE: The video is no longer working because BCCI has some copyright issues.
Anyhow, the above video, a charming display of male affection goes like this:
Ishant Sharma, the tall, long-haired charmer runs up the pitch, the opposite end
of which the unbelievably good looking Brett Lee stands. As he looks at the golden
haired, light eyed chunk-a-hunk his heart skips several beats, his hand becomes
unexplainably sweaty which makes him lose his grip on the ball and his delivery ends up as
a short pitched bouncer which hits Brett on his shoulder and makes him fall
Ok so I might have exaggerated a little bit.
Saying that my hindi is not good wouldn't be right. But it wouldn't be wrong either. I'm telling this because my hindi accent is...
I'm telling this because my hindi accent is perfect, but my grammar is a different story altogether. I'm not very strong in my tenses so i end up swallowing the last part of all my sentences. But then again, thanks to my perfect accent, people would listen to me rather than my colleague who had studied hindi das kaksha thak cause he said "awur" for "aur" which obviously qualified him for automatic unselection.
My hindi< i will be honest is only fit for haggling with the shopkeepers of Linking road and Colaba. And fair enough, I wasn't too bothered about it.
However when I was in Bombay the last week, I was strangely determined to take my hindi from the "bhaiyya iska price kya hai/woh redwalla piece chaahiye" to a whole new level. So in pursuit of shudh-hindi I decided the only way would be to interact with the bank staff with my crap hindi.
It was an interesting experience, thanks to relentless efforts in talking my unique brand of hindi the employees of the bank got inspired and started talking to me in their unique english.
One would think that this was hint enough to limit my hindi to the shopkeepers instead of making the bank employees' ears bleed, but no, this inspired me to take my hindi to greater heights, namely the 5th floor (investments cell).
I had to find out a couple of issues regarding the bank's investments for that quarter, a few matters regarding money at call and short notice, term deposits in other banks, the lot. The man who was in charge of it seemed hindi enough so I decided once again to execute my lingual prowess (or the lack of it)
Two sentences into the conversation, he had figured out what my standard of hindi was and after answering the first 3 questions in the same language he switched over to english. But me? Mein sirf hindi mein baath karthi thi. I didn't care about the wry smile on his face whenever I messed up with the genders and the "ka-ki-ke"s. I was on a mission. At the end of the session, his wry smile had turned into a full blown grin.
I got up - "thank you ji"
"What's your good name, madam?"
I told him exactly what it was.
"You're from Madras?"
"Haan ji" I said, in a way that would have made Amitabh Bachchan proud.
Unleashed on the roads of Chennai - the lean, mean, denting machine : the chutneymobile! Let's go (ruin everyone else's peace of m...
Let's go (ruin everyone else's peace of mind) in an Alto!
Actually speaking, the clutch sucks! it's like driving a damn truck. :| But whatever, its MY gaadi! :D Mine!
Update: Many thanks to mr.chokkathangam. :D
Happy Navarathri ! And before I forget, all of you are very cordially invited to our family's ...
Happy Navarathri ! And before I forget, all of you are very cordially invited to our family's golu (featured above). Sundal and onion/cauliflower pakoras made fresh everyday. However, you will be given the aforementioned in excess quantity if you sing/dance or are incredibly cute. Please to come :D
Also, some highly pissing off image kinks with blogger. Some pictures aren't turning out clear. The only solution which is available to me right now is clicking on it.
There used to be a time when was a genuine nature nut. The whole sleeping-out-in-the-woods-with-a-thousand-vicious-mosquitoes-needling-you-s...
But Nature! Yes, the lone thought of all those beautiful "nature" wallpapers in my computer was the only thing that was fuelling my zest.
Before we knew it was 11 pm. Around 20 of us were packed into one tent, thanks to one of my friend's extreme generosity. At about 3 am (I knew this 'cause I had a glow-in-the-dark watch then, it was like the heights of cool) my best friend, K, woke me up. Well, not wake up technically, because I wasn't sleeping too soundly, it's hard when there are a thousand blood thirsty mosquitoes trying to suck your life out at the same time.
Anyway, Queen K was in dire need to do the Royal Pee-Pee. Which meant she needed me, her loyal knight in my-honeybee-pajama-armour to help guide her to the royally-creepy loos. I didn't have a problem, I am the regular braveheart after all. No creepy camping grounds at 3 am freaked me out, nope. So I guided K through the path to the toilets.
It was while waiting for her when the terror happened.
A giant THING was on the floor. I kid you not, it was the size of a komodo dragon. I squealed. Hearing my not-so-little squeal, K, my dutiful best friend squealed as well, and came hurtling out of the toilet 3 seconds later to lend me her support. Then we both saw the THING and squealed together while making a run for our tent. Now, we had sprinted back to our tent and went back to sleep in order to forget about the THING.
The next morning, while standing in line for breakfast, a rather enthusiastic boy came up to us.
"You know ya? There was wolf and all near our tents yesterday night"
"Ya ya, wolf only. I think it ate somebody"
"Yes ya! I heard screaming and all. It was horrible. Like the wolf tore the victim apart. Horrible ya, but I heard it, mother promise!"
By the end of breakfast, the wolf story (with full dramatization) had spread across the entire camp and some girls were in the verge of tears. It took some major damage control from the camp instructors to calm them down.
Some of the boys were extremely happy though, each one of them thought that he was some kind of Indiana Jones to have survived a night among the wolves. Stuff that they'd tell their grandchildren.
Which is why I never told them the truth about the blood curdling screams. An extremely fat lizard, somehow doesn't quite have the same effect as a wolf.
So everyone's making noise over the whole Big Bang theory, which is something I can't quite understand. I thought Bill Clinton prov...
Coming to an agraharam near you! [This is a result of a 2 hour power cut in my area. Although I think Mama-man has a pretty great f...
Preeti tagged me with the Quotes tag. I did something similar to it once but then again, you can never hear too many gems of absurdity...o...
"Naanga idchcha morapeengo, neenga idchcha eshoosh me" -
(If we bump you, you stare, but if you bump us, 'eshoosh me')
Saadhu Shanmugham ponders upon the many ironies in life.
When my father was a teenager, the only timepass he had was to hang around in the street with an interesting assortment of small time trouble makers and wastrels. This included the Shanmugam in question who was either high on pot/ganja or sleeping. The wisdom (fuelled by marijuana) that he spouted was of course, one of a kind.
"There is no free lunch in life" -
Pattabhi Ram, my Financial Management teacher
Pattabhi, Pattu for us, his students is a seperate class of teacher. His casual tone, the way he goes "Use your calculator, yaar" are something unique to him. This is one thing that he keeps saying in class - nothing comes without effort. There are a million other proverbs/quotes which conveys the same thing but somehow, this just sounds cooller than the rest.
"When a normal man touches current, he will get a shock. I am Narasimma. If current touches me, current will get shock!"
Vijaykanth teaches us mortals what our physics teachers didn't.
"There is no charge for awesomeness...or attractiveness" - Po the Panda. In case you haven't watched Kung Fu Panda yet (the blasphemy!), smack yourself on the head and see it.
"Somberi Saavugraaki, navuththu ya vandi-ya!" - random auto guy
(Move your damn vehicle you lazy asshole!)
When i had just started driving, I was still getting used to gear shifts. This one time I had gone way too slow for second gear because the lane was tiny and I was nervous, which resulted in the car making an almighty halt. As I fumbled with the gears and keys, trying to make my car start again, the auto guy behind me decided to teach me some roadsense. I might not be a great driver but that auto fellow was talking as though he was Schumacher and was not used to going any slower than 100 km/hr. I started my car again alright, but extra slow, occupying the middle of the road, making sure he couldn't overtake too. I think that was when I first started enjoying driving in Chennai.
A couple of weeks back, Amma casually sat next to me, near the computer. The moment I saw her "casual" (read: I will now spy on ...
"Yes ma, Facebook"
"I read about it in the newspaper. Why do you always close your facebook when I come nearby?"
"Illa ma, I was done with it, so I closed"
"Anikki, I heard Devi talking about it, she's on facebook la?"
The "Devi" in question was one of my mom's hipper friends from the school's aunty circuit. She'd watch The OC, could find her way about the internet without having her daughter dictate instructions over the phone (unlike my mother) and the lot. So when the friend request came from her, I was not sure of accepting it, because that way, my not-so "chamathu" friends circle would be exposed. However, I did accept, thank the lord for limited profile access.
"I want that facebook"
"Create one for me, facebook. Adhaan nee onnume pannaliye, edhukku moonju kaatara?"
"I know whats unwanted and whats wanted. I am your mother. Go to that website, now."
There are these times when you desperately hope that there is a God out there, and that he's actually watching your petty life. This was one such time. I bit my tongue and looked at the ceiling, as if he would break through the walls and stand before me. I opened one of my slower browsers, and instead of God, Mr.Murphy made an appearance and you guessed it, IE popped on thew screen in a flash. Amma gave me a triumphant smile, as if she was born for this.
F, i typed. A-C-E-B-O-O-K and the miracle happened - The phone rang and (hallelujah!) it was for Amma. The moment she stood up, I shut the system down and half sprinted to the kitchen for temporary sanctuary.
That night, when she gave me dinner, she had that look on that face. "One of these days paaru...One of these days" she said.
The 15th day of August, 2008. India awoke 61 years ago at the stroke of midnight this very day. I awoke at 5 am though, I had a 6 hour Fina...
India awoke 61 years ago at the stroke of midnight this very day.
I awoke at 5 am though, I had a 6 hour Financial Management class (no shit!) to look forward to.
Independence Day has unfortunately been "just another day off" for me all these years. Except for the one time in 9th standard when we bullied and begged people living around my school to donate blood (I will unashamedly say that I even managed to get a hooker to donate. Skill!), I doubt I have done anything worthwhile. It was looked forward to only because it was a mandatory Government Holiday. Sometimes I wish I was more patriotic, in a practical way, like working around in charities and blood donation drives etc, in my spare time instead of trying to break my own record for longest time a person can stare at the ceiling (personal record - 2 hours!) and assessing the differences between blowing bubble gum bubbles and chewing gum bubbles. I haven't been able to contribute to society as much as I'd like to, clearly.
Today was different though. I learnt what real freedom was.
Yes, freedom. It feels like butterscotch-nut-icecream and big-snuggly-bear-hugs and god-of-war-II-special-attack-moves rolled in one, I kid you not.
I hadn't charged my phone the previous night and the night before, which meant my battery was beyond low. My morning alarm was the last straw. Apple's automated owner abuse messages started popping up (Warning! only 10% battery!) but I decided to take it to class anyway. Halfway through class, I realized I didn't know where it was. Panic! Thankfully, Mom later found it in the backseat of the car and I got this "You don't deserve a phone" lecture and then she decided not to give it to me. My break was getting over (It was a 45 minute breakfast break and I had rushed home to take a shower. Class can make you get pretty ripe, if you know what I mean) but gave them my "sorry" face anyway. Didn't work. So I left without my phone.
Class got over at 1 (After much pleading and "Pleeeeease Pattaaaaabhi sirrr"s). And just like that, I was out, in the awesomer part of the city (Nungambakkam!) and I didn't have my phone, ie -
Amma couldn't call me to ask me where I was.
Amma couldn't call me to ask when I was coming back home.
Amma couldn't call me to ask me to come home ASAP instead of wasting time hanging about.
Amma couldn't call!!
I was free. Free to do what I wanted. Free to go to my favourite book store. Free to buy stuff. Free to have lunch where ever I wanted. FREE. Free, I tell you. It felt delicious! It was at that moment I realized what Gandhi & Co had sacrificed for. It took my own irresponsibility (tossing my phone about in the car) to absorb the actual magnitude of the feeling of freedom. I think I was frozen, but only for a moment, and I had to break free from my newfound thought flow more so because this was on the middle of the main road and an auto guy was honking really hard and pointing and saying, well, nasty things.
But I made Mr.Honk-honk-honk stop and made him take me home anyway. As I handed out the cash I owed to him, he looked up and asked me -
"Yenma, Inikki Sugandhira dhinam dhaane?"
(Today is independance day right?)
"Sun TV-la inikki saaingaalam enna special padam?"
(Whats the special movie on Sun TV today?)
Happy Independance Day.
Me : Amma, Appa, see see! I took this photo ! It's awesome no? I took, I took! Amma : Oh its a nice picture. I'll tell you why, its...
Amma: Oh its a nice picture. I'll tell you why, its because I was the one who made the coffee and poured it in the tumbler so perfectly. Who else will make such good coffee?
Appa: Don't listen to your mother, the picture is good only because I got the camera. See, Sony DSC H9 quality. Who got the camera? I did, see, thats why the picture is awesome.
It's been exactly a year since I wrote my Common Proficiency Test. Although it was rescheduled, much to my chagrin, I'd like to th...
So here's look into the Lessons I've learned:
1] The joy you get out of eating in fancy restaurants everyday out of your client's money is directly proportionate to the expansion of your waistline.
2] No matter how entertaining the fish tank in your client's office is, you shall concentrate on your work instead of ogling at the very many fish trying to kill each other. Which is highly disturbing, by the way.
3] Bus routes!
4] How to cross the road. Which is a pretty big deal for me considering a year ago, crossing the road for me used to be inappropriately grabbing the shirt/dupatta/pallu of the person next to me and hanging on till I was transported to the other side.
a)Importance of beans
c)Greatness of beans
d)Younger generation liking pizza and chinese instead of beans
e)Did i mention beans?
6] The best cure for insomnia is your Taxation textbook.
7] A year ago, I would have found this to be a great joke.
A: His personality
I don't laugh at it anymore. Cause the truth ain't funny.
8] Criticism is something complicated. You gotta know how to take it. I take it in from one ear and take it out from the other.
9]The first stipend credit in your bank account is something really special. Not because it's your sweat toil or any of that stuff. It's special because now my mother can't say her favourite " Ara-anna-kku prayojanam illa nee" (You're not capable of getting 25 paise) dialogue. Ha!
10] The art of patience. Cause anytime someone asks "Oh, so which college are you doing your CA?", you need an enormous amount of patience to not strangle that person. In case you're someone who does ask that question, click here.
Although its a little known fact, it so happened that a bunch of Gujjus were living downstairs to Shakespeare's home. Whenever Shakespea...
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the Gujjus Ahemmed-the-Bard.
This is original. really.
Please dont hit me.
Paati and my Mom were having major gripes about my hair ever since I disappeared one saturday afternoon and came back with short hair. Anyth...
"Mudi irundha dhaana kottardhukku" guffawed my grandmother.
(Only if there's hair, there can be hairfall)
"Haiyyo, aama ma, ippove ipdi na, ava Inter exam ezhudhambodhu sottaiyaaduva." my very, concerned mother, interrupted.
(Haiyyo, yes ma, If its like this now, she'll become bald by the time she writes her Inter exam" )
"Apdina kalyanam pannikudukambodhu mottaiya?"
(Oh so when she gets married, she won't have any hair left? )
"Perumaale! Apdi laam solladha ma! Motta ponnukku epdi na payyan paakardhu?"
("God! Don't say stuff like that ma! How can I find a suitable boy for a bald daughter?")
"Pesaama andha Buddhist-o gudhdhist-o, Burma-la irupaale, mottaiya, andha maari oru payyana dhaan paakanum. Budhdhist-la Iyengar pasanga irupaa la? Iyer budhdhist kuda ok."
(Why don't we hitch her to one of those budhdhist-gudhdhists in Burma or something...they're all bald no? And are there Iyengars in these budhdhists? Iyer Budhdhist is also okay" )
Don't you just love family?
I went to office today in an auto. After I had signed in the attendance, made small talk with the receptionist (apparently he was having a l...
I like days when something nice happens unexpectedly, it makes me feel special.
"Na madras auto kaaranangalaam kettavangannu sollala. Nallavangala irundha nalla irukkumnnu solren."
Just finished watching the movie, I don't care what people say but I loved every minute of it. I have such a huge grin on my face! Apart...
I think the best part of the movie is the fact that it makes you want to be part of a romance as genuine as Jai's and Aditi's. I am so sure that hereafter if I ever get a chance to run after a certain special someone who decides to apdiye leave me and go to someplace far away I will also run to the airport and sing - Jaaane tuu....ya jaaaane na!
And yes, I am so high!
Behold, the SENSEX. Our client office (PNB House, PM Road) was a stone's throw away from the core of Indian Business. The manager was on...
I love the taxis of Bombay. The rickety Fiat cars were our lifeline there. And they use the meter! At this juncture, isn't it the same petrol prices prevailing across the country? Then how is it that it's only in Namma Chennai that meters 'kattupadiagaadhu'? Go figure!
18 years of existence. Correction. 18 years, 3 months, 3 and a half weeks counting. It's all a big blur. Its not any clearer. A year has...
Its not any clearer. A year has gone by already? Yes, Chutneycase celebrates its first birthday today. Truth be told, this is not my first blog. I deleted my old blog which had a fanbase of its own (16 year old lalu was quite the laugh riot) because, well, uh, I don't know. It was called "The Evil Autorickshaw" (Catchy, yea?). I was not going to take up writing again but yes, I couldn't let my public down so I started over (actually I was kinda pushed back into it). Long story, but here I am! I took up blogging after my Aththimber introduced me to it. My first few posts were obviously terrible. They would hardly last 5 lines, mainly because I didn't know what to write but I wanted to write anyway. I think people found it funny because it was the "laugh at" and not the "laugh with" variety. But it made people laugh, which was enough for me. It grew into an addiction and I'm happy to observe that it still is. After what has been a pretty eventful year, I would like to congratulate all my readers for their superior sense of humour and impeccable taste. If you're a fan, I don't blame you. Its really hard to not fall for my conditioned wit, loaded charm, seasoned intelligence and not to mention my super cuteness and most importantly my modesty. To a fresh first year and many more to come!18 years of existence. Correction. 18 years, 3 months, 3 and a half weeks counting.It's all a big blur.
I feel awful. My best friend of 16 years and Rowdy par extraordinaire, K, is leaving to Australia for her UG today. No more of K's unab...
I mean, when me and G went to her house to say goodbye we were all cheerful-cheerful, we even made so much fun of her, but only when we left her place did we feel so terrible. In fact, G is putting dum alone in his terrace right now, like one love-failure case.
I hate this, why am I the one who has to say goodbye all the time?
Aren't there rules to such things? They can't all leave me and go in such a short time span!
Who will I hang out with now?
Who will give me company to make fun of random people on the road?
Who's going to spur me into doing nutcase things?
Who can I safely complain to about everyone else in the planet?
Curses to all you Lalu-abandoning International UG students!
I need a hug.
My accounts class gets over at around 8.30 am in the morning, after which I usually take a stroll through the little bylanes of Mus uri Subr...
A rickshaw. I hadn't seen a rickshaw in the city for quite a few years, and well, I took a little bit of time seeing the vehicle.
Rickshaws bring a lot of memories. I used to come back home from school in my kindergarten days on a rick, along with a couple of other kids who were in the same neighborhood. The rickshaw wallah, with his big mustache and blue lungi would religiously be at the school gates at 2.40 pm sharp to pick us up. He would then take our bags and deposit them with a thud on the rickshaw floor after which he'd ask "Kalambalaama?" (shall we start?) and then we'd answer "Aama!" (yes!) in chorus.
The pace of the rickshaw was something that I loved. Relaxed, almost nonchalant. It represented Chennai at one point of time. There was just no hurry, no pressure, no frenzied honking. The world moved at the same pace as the rickshaw did. The rickshaw rides back home from school enabled me to make so many friends in and around the neighborhood who shared the rick. Today though, I am not able to remember a single name, a single face. All I remember is playing "Uma Joshi Yay Yay Yay" as we slowly passed the huge trees that were once all over GN Chetty road on the way home. Sometimes, the rickshaw wallah would sing "Vaadhiyaar paatu" (songs from MGR movies) as he pedalled, which always left us in giggles.
Although I don't remember his name, I do remember the fact that his 3 wheeled vehicle was the apple of his eye. The rick was always shiny, and sported a kunkuma pottu and malli-poo every Friday and whenever a "bad boy" would jump on to the rick, he would give the boy a knock on his head for doing so. Sometimes I wondered if his rickshaw had a name, like in the movies. It didn't. But it was a little something more than just a source of income for him. Appa got the second car when I was in my 2nd standard. Naturally, the rick ride back home was no longer required. But the rickshaw wallah prevailed, he would always be at the gates at 2.40 pm. He'd acknowledge my presence by giving me a wry smile from time to time, and would ask "Ennama Lavuniya, car innum varla?" (Hasn't your car come yet?). It was almost as if I had betrayed him by not travelling in his rickshaw anymore.
I didn't understand his problems then. Autos were gaining popularity among the Anxious-PSBB-parent since they were quicker and safer (or so they thought) and the batches were just getting more prosperous by the year. Almost everyone had their own vehicle. The faithful rickshaw was losing popularity, which meant that its owners were losing business, thus explaining the look on his face. Like I said before, this was much too much for a 2nd standard kid to figure out so I took the easy way out and thought him to be a "stupid goose" being so mean.
(Do you need a ride?)
The rick driver brought me back to 2008.
"Illa, rickshaw laam paathu romba naal aachu, adhaan paakaren"
(Not really, I'm just looking, Its just that it's been a long time since I saw a rickshaw)
"Aama ma, eggumore moosiyum-la vekka vendidhu...rickshaw laam pozhappe illa ma...na vandhu meyyin-a Auto ottaren."
(Yes ma, this should be kept in the Egmore Musuem..driving rickshaw is not a livelihood...My main job is actually driving an auto)
More small talk revealed that he was holding on to the rick for "suntimend"and was nice enough to oblige when I told him I wanted to take a picture of his rickshaw.
As I walked further down the road after telling him my thanks, I realized that sometimes, certain changes are inevitable, and even if we don't really like them, we can't stop it from happening anyway. Even if the rickshaw is redundant on the streets of Chennai today, it will always be part of Madras, the Madras I grew up in, the Madras I loved.