Cali, Cut.January 15, 2008
A wise man once said, " enna dhaan periya 5 star-la thanginaalum veetu bathroom-la onnuku pora sogame thani " Truer words never sp...
A wise man once said, "enna dhaan periya 5 star-la thanginaalum veetu bathroom-la onnuku pora sogame thani"
Truer words never spoken.
Kerala was good, pretty as a postcard. We were very well taken care of.
Something that was particularly interesting about this trip was the fact that all the managers thought I was some kind of 'homely girl'. Let me elaborate.
Lunch. We eat with the managers.
It had been a particularly long day and I plopped onto my seat, very tired. When I'm very tired, I tend to swear. When I was 7 or 8, I used to say 'aiyo amma', I remember my thatha telling me, 'don't say aiyo, its bad, in fact whenever you're feeling bad, say Narayana instead, umaachi will come and help you.' So my habit started then, whenever I'm in a mood to swear and there are people in-front-of-whom-you-really-don't-want-to-be-caught-swearing I usually say "Narayana". That day, my back was kinda hurting, so when I sat down, it became acute for a moment. I couldn't go 'fuck'. Instead I said 'Narayana'. The Zonal Manager decided to get all witty on me and went "oh, you are saying Narayana at this age itself, like a Paatima" (Granny).
I got mildly pissed. I asked him, "Yen sir, perumal paer sonna enna thappu? punyam kadaikkum" (what's wrong in saying Narayana? You can collect good karma this way).
So he goes "Yes ma, but now is the age to do all the wrong things, you can collect punya later."
I bend down and peer into my plate to prevent anyone from seeing me guffaw. Poor chap didn't know that I needed all the punya I could possibly get. We eat. Midway, the ZM passes the beans to me.
Zonal Manager: "Indha ma, beans saapdu"
(here, have some beans")
Me (in a meek voice): Illa sir, thanks, enakku beans pudikaadhu.
(No sir, thanks, but I really dont like beans)
ZM:Apo enna saapduva? Pavakka? Podlanga? Avarakka? Vendakka?
(Then what do you have? Bittergourd? snake gourd? some-weird gourd? Okra?)
I shake my head vigourously to show my intense dislike for the gourd family.
ZM: Apo pizza? burger? chinese?
I think. Frankly, I have had enough of pizza, I can't really stand that stuff anymore. Burgers are a bore and my liking for Chinese food starts and ends with Topramen smoodles. I'm a Pasta-Mexican-Sub-sandwich-Frankie person.
I wonder if I should mention the pasta bit but I shake my head anyway.
ZM:Oh my! You really don't know how to enjoy life!
Another Manager: Sir, these people are homely girls, confined to their homes. Konjam conservative.
Oh yes, me, temple-going, south-indian-meals-only-eating, filter-coffee-making, ACHUCHO-saying,very conservative Chutney girl. I found it so incredibly funny that I couldn't even laugh. I just continued to look into my plate. And they continued to think that they were right.
Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.