How the Grinch stole IPL

[Dr.Seuss is my hero.] Everyone, who lived in Indi-ville, Liked IPL a lot. But the Grinch, who lived a little north of Indi-ville, Di...



Everyone, who lived in Indi-ville,
Liked IPL a lot.
But the Grinch, who lived a little north of Indi-ville,
Did not!

The Grinch hated IPL! The whole IPL season!
But no one knows why, please don't ask the reason

It could be because his medium pace bowling wasn't too tight
Or maybe because his cover drive wasn't still quite right
But I think, the mostly likely reason of all
Was because his brain was two sizes too small

But whatever the reason, the drive or the medium pace
He sat there in his cave, with a very grumpy face

Staring at his TV set with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the people celebrating the team of their town
He hated it when people cheered, it made his grinchy blood boil
Didn't matter if it was a Chennai Superking or a Rajasthan Royal

"And they're buying their tickets!", He said with a sneer
There's a match in town, IPL is practically here!

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to stop the IPL teams from coming!"

For tomorrow, he knew
All the IPL fans would gather at the stadium. And then!
Oh the noise! Oh the noise! noise! noise! noise! noise!
And then, those blasted fans, young and old, would shout!
And then they'd shout!
SHOUT!
SHOUT!
SHOUT!
They would shout and holler until their voices were hoarse
They'd scream for their team and that filled our Grinch, with great remorse.

And THEN they'd do something the Grinch liked least of all
Everyone down in Indi-ville, the tall and the small
Would get together and talk!
And then they'd talk!
TALK!
TALK!
TALK!
They'd talk about the day's match, over much song and wine
They'd talk about the batsmen, bowlers and the cheerleaders fine
They'd talk about every wicket, six and four
They'd talk, until their throats went sore.

The more the Grinch thought of this whole Grand-IPL-Thing
The more the Grinch thought,
"I must stop this whole thing!
Why, I've put up with it for long enough now
I must stop this IPL...but how?! "

And then he got an idea!
An Awful idea!
The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

"I know just what to do!"
The Grinch laughed in his throat
And he quickly made an Umpire's hat and coat
And he chuckled, and clucked
"What a great grinchy ploy,
Wearing an Umpire's outfit to trick these stupid people gives me such great joy!"

"Those fans of the IPL, those fools
Don't they realize that the ICC always plays by BCCI's rules?
And 20-20, what a stupid trend
Any REAL cricket lover, it will surely offend.
Why don't they understand its all a money making gimmick?
Argh! The thought makes me feel bulimic!

But tonight! I will stop it all
and I, the Grinch will be the reason for the IPL's downfall!

And so the Grinch, in his hat and coat so red
Cackling (so loud it would wake the dead)
Climbed down to the stadium in the little town
And not for a minute did he slow down.

Into the stadium he did sneak
(He stopped in the cheerleader's dressing room for a little peek)
He raided the players' quarters, like a stealthy cat
And ransacked the place, stealing every stump, ball and bat.
He didn't even leave Dhoni's Zandu Balm
And on his way out, even stole a cheery girls' pom-pom

He put them in his big brown sack and did a little dance
Now there would be no IPL, no, not a chance.

"Oh those mimble-wimbles will come now!" He was grinchishly humming
"They'll find out now that the IPL is not coming!
Oh I know what they'll do! They'll open their mouth for a minute or two
And then they'll cry! Oh-boo-hoo-hoo
And that's a noise"
Grinned the Grinch
"I simply must hear!"

So he paused and put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising, and although
It was very very low
It began to grow

But the sound wasn't sad!
It was...merry!
It couldn't be so!
But it WAS merry!
Very!

When he stared down at the stadium,
The Grinch popped his eyes!
For what he saw
Was a shockingly shocking surprise!


The players were out there, playing
The bowlers were out there, bowling
And the cheerleaders were out there, cheering!

Dhoni's bat was but a slab of wood
But even then, he was extremely good
Ishant Sharma's deliveries had such great bounce
When he bowled off paper balls, they didn't weigh an ounce!

And the crowd roared, they shouted and clapped
While the Grinch, he felt like he'd been slapped!

He hadn't stopped the IPL from coming! It came!
Somehow or the other, it came, just the same!

But how could it be so? It came without branded bats!
It came without fancy balls!
"It cannot be be!" The Grinch is appalled.

And he puzzled for three hours, until his tiny brain became sore
He took a little break and then puzzled some more.
And then something hit him! A revelation!
Possibly the answer to all his frustration.

"Maybe the IPL", he thought
"Isn't about the glitz, glamour and fame
Maybe, it has been created, out of love for the game!
Them Indis love their cricket, we all know they do
And everyone wants more of what they love, don't you?
They want their cricket, they want their thrills
They want to see tested, every player's skills
So even if there are a million ads,
A thousand TV babies, moms and dads
So be it tests, one dayers, t20s or even ones with a taped tennis ball
Every game's a game, no matter now small! "

And what happened then?

Well in Indiville they say,
That the Grinch's brain grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his brain didn't feel so tight
He whizzed into the pitch and its harsh white lights

He brought back the bats!
He brought back the balls!
He brought back the stumps!
Yes, he returned everything he stole, he gave it all.
And then, to celebrate Grinch's great change of mind
He got to bat, and this time,
His cover drive was mighty fine.

-Originally Seuss-Rhyme by Coconut Chutney

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26 comments

  1. I do not like green eggs and ham
    I do not like them, Sam-I-am
    .
    .
    .
    Like that,
    I really like your post lala-ma'am
    That's why I am commenting here, its varsha-i -am.


    -varsha

    ReplyDelete
  2. Perhaps we should all agree and make it a rule
    That non-rhyming comments are, for this post, uncool
    And even if, like me, you hate IPL
    And Lalit Modi who, for a dime, his grandmother would sell
    We must respect this here blog owner's wish
    And refrain from cutting off Pawar's head with a swish
    So applaud Ipl we will, dear lady
    Though we find Pawar dishonorable and Lalit Modi shady.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post, by the way! Enjoyed thoroughly!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow! Thats some creativity! :--))
    Ok, my comment is the most uncool, uncreative. :--D

    ReplyDelete
  5. Kudos from the west,
    For this jingle was the best.
    :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. so are the sisters trying to outdo each other with awesome blog posts??

    brilliant stuff!

    "Into the stadium he did sneak
    (He stopped in the cheerleader's dressing room for a little peek)"

    ha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Very funny is, he said
    The Chutney I’ve read
    Always good for a tag.

    I’d no idea, he said
    The Chutney I’ve read
    Waves the Dickensian Seussian flag.

    Finally an IPL post from, he said
    The Chutney I’ve read
    That doesn’t make me gag.

    ReplyDelete
  8. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ammadi athadi,
    Lalu Suess poetry padichadi.
    Adu avaluku pudika,
    Engla poetry vechu kadika.

    Adhe time la TV la patha ava ei-pee-ell,
    Adhe mella vandedu avaluku kadall.
    Stadium ku pora ava may rendu,
    night ellam kail vechunda pandhu.
    IPL unna pole yarrum illa,
    Ava sonna mella mella.

    Erudina romba asingama oru pattu,
    Annan irundalum ava romba attu.
    Thiripi IPLa koopta cricket,
    Avala kudupen mela straight a ticket.




    This is just for the local flavor.

    ReplyDelete
  10. By far the best post on IPL
    Very intelligent and funny as hell
    It's good to see a fellow Seuss fan
    Cheering Cricket in spite of that Modi-man
    Pardon this inconsisten rhyme
    Just woken up, brain not yet at its prime


    :p

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gosh! That brings a smile to my face.

    Green eggs and ham.... its been two decades since I've heard someone mention that.

    Well if you cant beat em..join em
    Dr. Seuss is awesome.
    Dum-di-dum dum :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. whew... it was some rhyme for sur e:-) enjoyed it.. good one, Lavz...

    ReplyDelete
  13. Unlike fellow buddies above, I am not going to even try doing something like that. pinnita po!

    ReplyDelete
  14. @drenched: You are an idiot. If you followed Tamil, you could realize the sheer depth in meaning and the brilliant construction, in my poetry. You will stop worshipping all those worthless authors you worship now, and like 99% of the world start believing I am God.

    ReplyDelete
  15. @varsha
    :D

    @Arun
    thanks! :)

    @narendra
    i think that its time
    that i continued this little rhyme
    and I shall give the thanks that I rehearsed,
    For liking my poetry, for better, for verse
    :)

    @sk
    thankee, and no, your comment I must say reeks of coolness, especially that double hyphened smiley of yours. I'm a huge fan of it. :--)

    @wickedtaurus
    Many thanks for the compliments from the west
    Its good to know I put your rhyming skills to the test

    @niyantha
    You fill my heart with good cheer
    Because "brilliant" is such a nice word to hear
    Pray, excuse my little moment of mirth
    But I guess I'll let you know, that Varsha and I, were awesome from birth.

    :D

    And as far as that quote is concerned, I see you come up with a few innovative skirt lines yourself. :P

    @BPSK
    That's something different, I said
    This comment that I just read
    But then again, when I spared a thought or two
    I realized, well thats BPSK for you.

    Thankee, thankee.

    @OK
    Unoda comment romba veththu
    Unakku illada geththu
    Unakku kavidhai ezhudha theriyala
    Enoda character...haha, unakku innum puriyala!

    Aiye thu, periya TR, vantaaru rhymes ezhudha. PODA!

    @drenched
    Seuss is the awesomest right?
    His rhymes are so...tight! ;)

    @Superficial
    Machan,after seeing your name, i thought you were one peter pullavan da. Saw your blog today morning. Geththu!

    @Mayth
    It makes me sad to say
    I'm out of rhymes for the day

    thanks! :D

    @xh
    thanks!

    @gradwolf
    :)
    Thank god, I think I'm out of rhymes!

    @ok
    Forget tamil, if you knew OK, you'd know the quality of his "poetry"
    :P

    ReplyDelete
  16. OK endraal enna, endru kettar oruvar
    OK endraal ellam sari, seppinaar silar
    Aiyo, illai! Kathinaar palar
    OK endraal olaral kase, koorinar Chutney-avar

    ReplyDelete
  17. Aha! Arpudam Arpudam!

    Ungal arivai paarthu enn kannu koosigiradhu!
    Aagiya kaaranathal ungalukku naan "kavignar" Bhelapuri Seeka-kababu endra pattam soodigiraen.

    Sabhash! Sariyana poti!

    (lol i know this doesnt have any relevance but I've always always wanted to say this)

    ReplyDelete
  18. @Ok: Shut up, dude. Stop drinking and smoking the wrong stuff on weekdays too. *breaks the blue plate on his head to bring him back to reality*

    ReplyDelete
  19. this is fun. to some extent though, i feel grinchy too. its players now - wonder what they'll start selling next - cops, ministers - the rich guys wud buy the 'better' ones and then what? scary thought!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm tooo intimidated to even try givin out my own rhyme, so i guess i'll pass on that...But GREAT work with all the rhymin goin around here :D

    ReplyDelete
  21. wow...i wonder how long it took to frame all those rhyming sutff...impressive:)

    ReplyDelete
  22. Jingle me jingle me jingle me red
    Rhyme up my weekend and tuck me in bed
    See that I'm bathed and clothed and fed
    And get this silly rhyming bug out of my head

    ReplyDelete
  23. Nt Inspiring !

    The Chutney is nt all that tasty... Kunjam Chappu-nu irruku :)

    ReplyDelete

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