Of Kakas and Kuruvis

Dear Mr.Dharani. This is coming from a genuine fan. I loved Dhool, I even liked Ghilli. But your latest offering has left me (and several ot...

Dear Mr.Dharani. This is coming from a genuine fan. I loved Dhool, I even liked Ghilli. But your latest offering has left me (and several others) feeling appalled.

I am a brave girl, I confess. Which is why even after the few million warning/why-do-you-want-to-play-with-your-life mesages that I had received, I decided that I had to see the movie Kuruvi.

Vijay, ofcourse, is continuing his experimentative streak. While he has donned the extremely challenging and varied roles of mechanic, car mechanic, bike mechanic, cycle mechanic etc in his previous movies, he has taken a u-turn and done something completely different. He is a delivery boy in the movie (Yes, you are allowed to gasp now).

The story which the director has tried to tell us, but failed miserably in his attempt to do so, revolves around a righteous son who goes to Malaysia to try and recover his missing father's debt, but lands upon an illegal diamond racket (where his father is being trapped) instead.
It took me 2 days and 3 Saravana Bhavan Double strong coffees to figure this out.

Keeping with the title, Vijay does a lot of flying. He flies out of gutters (and still keeps dry), He flies from parapet walls/3rd floor sunshades (and lands on both feet), but the piece de resistance, is the time he flies across nearly 50 metres from a terrace onto a railway track and he gets in the train, without a scratch. And before you can choke on your popcorn and say WTF, he is escaping from a locked cage 100 feet into the river. Houdini has clearly met his match.

Moving on. There is Suman, the "Villain" in the movie. Comedian, more like. As if his Merv-Huges mustache wasn't comic enough, his character's name is "Gocha". He is the kingpin of the illegal diamond smuggling racket and is aided by Ashish-I-never-get-sick-of-saying-the-same-lines-in-all-my-movies-Vidhyarthi, the local Politician-thug. He comes in and out of the movie, screams unneccessarily till his lungs (and our ears) get sore and occasionally spouts telugu wisdom while kicking random slave-miners.
Suman's sister is played by Trisha. It should be noted that there is more chemistry in a commerce textbook than between the lead pair. Apparently she is the younger sister of a multi-billionaire but has never traveled by plane. However, the best scene to capture her incredible acting prowess would the one where Gocha proclaims that he has managed to kill "Kuruvi" ie, Vijay. She has the same amount of shock that one does when one learns that the nearby drug store is giving expired Crocin tablets at half price. Shattering indeed.
The pace of the movie is something that has to be written about. Everytime something remotely important/plot changing happens, which is by itself a rare occurence, a pointless song crops up. Like 2 minutes before the climax, when our hero goes out in search of the baddies, the scene cuts to the heroine 'fantasizing' and then comes the 'mozhamozhannu yamma yamma' (roughly translates to soft soft mommy mommy. Deep man, just deep.) song leaving the audience at the edge of their tempers/blood pressure limits.
The music in the movie is remarkably average. The rap song is just plain noise, the 'pallanadhu' song is annoying, 'thaen' is listenable but sounds strangely familiar, which leaves the hero's intro song and 'mozha..' both which are below average. Nothing particularly memorable which is surprising considering Vidhyasagar usually gives good stuff.

In the end, Kuruvi is definetely is a movie that breaks barriers. Vijay did take absurdity to a new height with ATM, but this time he has outdone his previous efforts. So kindly do your sanity a favour and let it pass.

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23 comments

  1. really funny ;) hey i jus worked out that the average salary drawn by the roles vijay has acted in is roughly something like 1500 rupees..

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  2. Lol! I saw the important parts of the movie. Vijay flying. Vijay, aided by boyancy, kicking himself gravity to get out of the lake.

    I think Mr. Dharani took classes in Gaptan-school-of-physics;).

    P.S. Engayo keta madri irruko?

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  3. Kuruvi sucked. Fine.

    Vijay is repetitive and boring. Fine.

    Dharani completely lost it. Fine.

    Suman is funny. Fine.

    Music is, well, not music. Fine.

    But Trisha's acting prowess? Whatever!! Trisha rocks! Rulz! Is Heaven! Is Divine! Maybe not all in this movie, but she is all this. One word against her and our rasigar mandram won't leave a stone unturned in taking revenge.

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  4. Excellent review..

    One of my friends had remarked that the best part of the movie experience of kuruvi,was the Dasavatharam trailer that comes before the movie.That sufficed as a warning for all of us.We didnt even bother to get a "thiruttu " DVD

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  5. i completely empathise with u..i am sure naa poorva jenmathule yedho paavam pannirken to go and watch something lik that..

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  6. I'm alive...and ONLY because I've started loving myself slightly more than before..After Tashan, no risks!

    @Adi: Dai, venda, solren ketuko..Public forum aache nu paakren, illanaaaaaa....:P Trisha...!????!Tsk tsk tch tch cha cha ayo ayo!

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  7. I have always regretted my inability to understand Tamil, a language rich in poetry, literature and, going by my engg. college friends, invective. But today, after reading your review, I felt that not knowing tamil has its bright side.

    By the way, from a purely literary point of view, the review is brilliant. If the director's body is found floating face down in the pool tomorrow morning, the police needn't bother looking for murder weapons. He would have killed himself after reading your review.

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  8. With Kuruvis like this in the city the real Kuruvis have left Chennai. Or did they commit suicide???? Movie Sucked.

    I did not know girls told their life story to strangers on the plane.

    As the Inju Idupu Azhagan would say "Enna Kodumai Sir Idhu???"

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  9. ha ha ha.. hilarious review.. so one more to pass... :)

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  10. So many first times here.. this is the first time I am-
    ..trying to know what Tamil movies show
    ..reading a Tamil movie review
    ..hearing about Vidhyasagar
    ..reading every word of a movie review!

    I simply loved ur similies :) heh heh.. excellent review.. send it to a local newspaper

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  11. Hm...
    Cannot get a better review for this film. Awesome. Very well described. Hats off to u!! Cheers!

    One doubt i hav is, how, at the first instant, did Dharani get a thought directing a film like this.!!!!

    Anywayz!! Cool work yaar!

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  12. I hated the movie. the song sucked. how Trisha manages to survive in Kollywood is a mystery known only to Lord Ganesha. Zorro mask? Honestly..

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  13. @ preeti:

    Trisha ku enna korachal??

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  14. P.s.b
    Thanks da kanakku pulla. And yeah, vijay has been consistently below poverty line in his recent movies.

    Okie
    Copycat, killer rat
    sunday monday ...err..wear a hat!
    :D

    Gradwolf
    The truth, my good friend, is never quite pleasant. But it is the truth, whether you know her films in backwards alphabetical order or not.

    S.G.B
    Yep, your friend is very very right. Took us a great deal to even stay in the theatre till the movie finished.

    unpretentious
    I'll say, this is all my previous bad karma catching up on me. :-/ enna koduma..

    Preeti
    You have indeed taken a wise decision. And nalla sollu adi-kku, trisha i believe...aiyyooo

    Narendra
    That's high praise (especially the suicide bit, lol)!
    Thanks :)

    The pseudonym
    Enna koduma sir idhu is not the right phrase. More like enna karumandhram sir idhu.

    XH
    Its in interest of your own life. :P

    shruti
    Honestly, not all tamil movies are THIS terrible. And honestly not everyone reads movie reviews fully. But u did. thanks!

    Ravi
    Remba thank you :)

    jargonz
    Even Ganesha is confused probly. Adhu oru puriyaadhu pudhir!

    Adi
    Elaame korachal dhaan. :P

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  15. does vijay say something in english in this movie?

    i loved the bit in Pokkiri when he follows Asin and reads out the message on her tshirt "Aye have yay beautiful face on top.. please... see... that... too"

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  16. ahaha! soft soft mommy mommy...rofl. :D caught a few glimpses...is it a new flavor, heroines getting into the bandwagon of loosu-genelia type talking? :D

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  17. Ok, Asin thavara is anyone even comparable to Trisha? Cha, all of you plain jealous :p

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  18. "I want my 3 hours back u dumbass dharani" is what I screamed when I stepped out of the theatre. And the masala dosai I had at Saravana Bhavan would have been puked, if I dint look down at my watch for 'some' scenes.

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  19. Just got back from kuruvi now.

    I'd normally blog about it, I think I'll give it a rest this time.

    You've pretty mcuh said it all.
    Tamizh padams ees going to the doags. And I mean doags.
    Goin goin..gone.

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  20. Trisha is pretty.

    So is my new pink top with embroidery. But it can act too.

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  21. @Adi: Trisha poraadu nu Asin veraya? *bangs head on the cubicle wall, but stops fearing it'd break* Actually, i just think she can't act or dance for nuts, n she's got an attitude for nothing...it's pretty annoying really...as chutney said, ellame korachal dan! BUT i guess perceptions differ, so im sssh-ing now...Sonna puriyava pordhu? *sigh*

    @WT: YES, the loosu-genelia types (lol) are in! High pony, multi-coloured bands and bags and ending every sentence with ha-ha! It's in, gurl, in! :P

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  22. All pon kozhandhael - pls dont poraama pattufy at Trisha and Asin.

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