Hindi not coming

Saying that my hindi is not good wouldn't be right. But it wouldn't be wrong either. I'm telling this because my hindi accent is...

Saying that my hindi is not good wouldn't be right. But it wouldn't be wrong either.
I'm telling this because my hindi accent is perfect, but my grammar is a different story altogether. I'm not very strong in my tenses so i end up swallowing the last part of all my sentences. But then again, thanks to my perfect accent, people would listen to me rather than my colleague who had studied hindi das kaksha thak cause he said "awur" for "aur" which obviously qualified him for automatic unselection.
My hindi< i will be honest is only fit for haggling with the shopkeepers of Linking road and Colaba. And fair enough, I wasn't too bothered about it.
However when I was in Bombay the last week, I was strangely determined to take my hindi from the "bhaiyya iska price kya hai/woh redwalla piece chaahiye" to a whole new level. So in pursuit of shudh-hindi I decided the only way would be to interact with the bank staff with my crap hindi.
It was an interesting experience, thanks to relentless efforts in talking my unique brand of hindi the employees of the bank got inspired and started talking to me in their unique english.
One would think that this was hint enough to limit my hindi to the shopkeepers instead of making the bank employees' ears bleed, but no, this inspired me to take my hindi to greater heights, namely the 5th floor (investments cell).
I had to find out a couple of issues regarding the bank's investments for that quarter, a few matters regarding money at call and short notice, term deposits in other banks, the lot. The man who was in charge of it seemed hindi enough so I decided once again to execute my lingual prowess (or the lack of it)
Two sentences into the conversation, he had figured out what my standard of hindi was and after answering the first 3 questions in the same language he switched over to english. But me? Mein sirf hindi mein baath karthi thi. I didn't care about the wry smile on his face whenever I messed up with the genders and the "ka-ki-ke"s. I was on a mission. At the end of the session, his wry smile had turned into a full blown grin.
I got up - "thank you ji"
"What's your good name, madam?"
I told him exactly what it was.
"You're from Madras?"
"Haan ji" I said, in a way that would have made Amitabh Bachchan proud.
That guy starts laughing. Just when I'm about to ask him what he found so amusing, he says, "Madam, naanum tamil dhaan."

My school of hindi:

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  1. I understand Hindi. I can read Hindi. I will never speak Hindi coz it makes me sound as goofy as a Frenchman speaking in Chinese. :) I abs hate the mere/mera/meri thing since it's based on the gender of the word after than the gender of the speaker and it gets me each time!

  2. ROFL! Bulb adichitiye lalu, ipdi bulb adichitiye!

  3. ROFL! I'm from Bombay, and second to none in the systematic butchering of our hapless national language, but you seem to have scaled great heights for one so young. Making grown men cringe! We bow in respect.

    The youtube video was hilarious too!

  4. Mere khyaal se jinki matrabhasha hindi nahi hai, unko sabse jyada dikkat sangya (noun) ke ling (gender) ko pehchanane mein hoti hai....

    mere vichar se sirf lagataar koshish aur abhyaas se hi aap safal ho sakti hai....

    p.s.dating a mallu should have had adverse affect on my judgment of gender in both hindi n english.. but honestly I am trying hard not to get affected

    this just might help
    he he.. all the best!!!

  5. :) it happened to me too while I was in Mumbai for work.
    Spoke at length to the cab guy in broken Hindi only to hear him say, "Tamizhliye pesunga Maydam. Naan thirunelvithan. Etho pozhappukkaga inge irukken!"

  6. hahaha the raguthatha joke is classic and TH keeps saying that to me when he hears my hindi which btw is exactly like urs. impeccable accent but close-to-horrible grammar!

  7. ROTFL - that last line was a puncher... :)

  8. CC,

    I am one of the hazaar people who have gender issues in Hindi and the dhai-dedh confusion.
    Having learnt even social studies in Hindi till 8th has not helped my Hindi any bit.Its totally gone case.Poor teachers who tried imposing Manak Hindi Vyakaran and likes on me.Losers :D
    My story is here.

    Check Maadi


  9. ok as a so-called hindi speaker, I am a shame to my tamil brethren. My tamil is more liek the hindi dubbed version of that video.

    But then barring the accent , I must add that there are people whoa re much worse. So you did pretty well my lady.

    of course we can always teach each other!

  10. LOL ROTFL :)

    My Hindi is impeccable. Not my Tamil. You will teach me aah?

  11. Haha, so did not expect that ending! And if you've got the accent, everything else should be easy. If you don't have the right accent,it seems like they don't even want to reply

  12. hehe LOL...at made Amitabh Bachchan proud

  13. ROTFL.....superb!

  14. kissi bhi vastu ke vishay me yadi sampoornatayah vishwast hona ho... toh hindi bolna tyag do.... kyuunki darr ke aage jeet hai....

    => you cant get it right...

  15. oh welcome to my mum's world. except, being in delhi, it is more than mandatory to butcher the language in as many ways possible. It increased her street cred to no end, her proper tam accent notwithstanding :P

  16. LOL @ "naanum tamil thaan". So much for all the Hindi you spoke! Poor you!
    My Hindi and Urdu are flawless. Hindi, thanks to being initiated to it when in Delhi and Urdu, thanks to my Muslim friends from Hyderabad! I'm a polyglot! aaahh! I feel so good! :P
    Aapko agar Urdu seekhna ho tho hich-kichaiyega mat, bey jhijhak poochhiyega, Mohtarma! :D

  17. chill madi chutneypapa,
    mumbai indhi is all cool...
    anything goes

  18. @idling
    I swear! How the hell can a chair be female gender (kursi ki) ? I could never figure that out. Pah Tamil dhaan best bashai!

    arasiyalla idhelaam sagajam.

    :D :D shukriya ji. I am bohoth honoured.

    you lost me at khyaal. :P thanks for the link though :S

    I am not alone! :D

    I think our accent is what saves us each time. :D

    puncher? Lol, puncture more like.

    damn funny story you had there! I liked. :D

    And hmm, so you take tuitions. Tell me timings. I will come and sit in your living room with my tuition notebook and say "namaste adhyaapikaji" "dhanyawaad ji" "shukriya ji" without fail. :D
    I is a good students of the hindi languages.

    definite a. :D

    I didn't expect that ending either. Lol, accent is what saves me from getting beat up by those hindi folks for language abuse. My grammar is beyond shit. And I'm bohoth proud of it :D

    @anon 1 & anon 2

    Ungalukku hindi theriyumnnu enakku theriyum. Adhanaala dhaan ushaara tamilla idha solren. Enna you cant get it right? enakku rightla varla na paravala. Na leftla eduthukaren.

    @rukmani ram

    romba scene podatha. Then I'll start talking in pure street tamil which I'm pretty sure you havent got the grip of :P
    Thanks for the urdu lessons btw, will send a note sometime. I've been dying to get someone to translate Jashn-E-Bahaara for me for the looooongest time! :)

    Even if it doesnt go, I dont care. Naanga hindhila dhaan pesuvom!

  19. I was staying as a paying guest at a Punjabi family before. The aunty there can talk only hindi and can understand English. I can talk in english and only understand hindi. Yebbaaa, too much of funny confusion it used to be - for the onlooker. She used to say, by the time I leave, she should learn English and I should learn Hindi. In reality when I left the place, I almost forgot english and she forgot hindi.

  20. Neon is rite...the accent is the key..the grammar is just as important, but the accent is still the key...as long as u say 'ek' and not 'yek' ur hindi is fine...

    i know hindi well enough...grammar et all, but still fumble when talkin to pure breds (aka my sister's marwari in-laws) so what do i do? Talk in hi funda english and fumble them ;)

    Fret not, cuz the ENGLISH grammar level of those up north is wayyyyyy lower than the HINDI grammar level of namba makkal...

  21. Oh yeah, I've always had a lot to say on this.

    We Tamilians always take pride in our Hindi speaking abilities (or the very lack of it).

    Lol@the naanum tamil thaan. Thats exactly what happened when I was giving directions in Hindi to an autowala in Blore :))

    Laugh indeed this one!

  22. CC,
    On an unrelated note
    Check this old ad.I am sure you have seen it earlier.



  23. i've always been proud of my hindi, specially when i correct some of my native hindi speaking friends on the gender bit, and it gets to their nerves.

    in any case, the bombay hindi is anything but hindi!!

  24. ROFLLLlllllllll......ROFLlll!!!! too good!!

  25. Naanum Tamil than - If I had a rupee for every time I heard that..

    My Hindi would be ONLY used at chat stalls (Theeka), in the hope that he would get it.

  26. ROTFL!

    That was an awesome post, couldn't relate...but I could visualize your conversation quite a bit!Must have been really amusing scene for the bank guy to watch:)
    Where did you find the video? It was priceles...!

  27. hey my first time here and must say I enjoyed going through this post...If I can take the liberty and say - my hindi is quite good and I love reading hindi books as well. I know it shocks most people but i truly enjoy reading hindi. One reasn could be that I was brought up speaking hindi(and gng to a convent school improved my eng). We had a neighbour who was a BA in Hindia. So she would use all sorts of phrases and anecdotes in hindi. It was fun!
    It was lovely reading that you are attempting to learn something you are not so good at - way to go...I'm sure with practise you will be speaking perfect hindi soon :)

  28. lol!! made an amazing post!! i sucked at hindi all the time i was in bombay, once i came to bangalore, it actually improved(with my accent)

  29. Thangacheeeee... unna kandupidichitenmmmaaaa(have been looking for my twin for yearssss now!)


  30. hilarious!!! ROFL!!


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