"Sooo What are you doing ah?"
"Oh oh oh. Ok."
"Now you want to drive ah?"
No, I came here to learn how to make sambar.
I nod my head anyway.
"Ok ah. In KG classes, you lerrn. Yae faar Aapil, Bhi faar Baal, See faar Cayt. That is KG ah. Driving-gu, you lerrn, Yae faar Akkselaraturr, Bhi faar Brake, See faar Kletch. Understanding ah?"
I nod my head vigourously.
"Understanding means repeat-tu"
"A for accelerator, B for Brake, C for Clutch" I repeat, feeling more like an idiot with every syllable.
"Layft feet on kletch. You put kletch and then put gear. And you release kletch ah. 2.5 inches. Called-du biting point ah. That time you STAMP accelerator ah. Understands?"
STAMP accelerator. Got it.
"Woh-kay! Now you are ready ah. Come this side."
I get out of the car and get into the drivers seat and take the steering wheel into my hands. I feel a strange sense of power.
I turn the key and in my excitement turn it a bit too long, making the engine go Vroooooooom.
Instructor mama gets tension.
"Enna ma, want to driving race ah? Sumal turn, SUMAL!"
The santro was so otta that I had to summon quite a bit of energy into pushing it in, and to add to my stamping woes my instructor was hollering 'Push! push! push-ah! Full!' that would have put a gynaec to shame. After finally pushing the clutch and changing the gear, I conveniently forgot the next step so the car groaned forward for 2 feet and stopped.
"Akselarator ma, you forgot ah? Trying again?"
I follow his instructions properly this time and manage to get the car running. The car moving gave me such a high that I forgot to take my foot off the accelarator.
"AIYIYO! Speed ma! Speed no! Speed slow! Not so fast on first giyar ah. Brake brake."
I snap myself out of my NFS dreams and get back to learning to gear shifts.
I drove 4 kms for my first class. By the end of it, the instructor mama had a few hairs in his sottai head astray. But I thought I did it pretty well, the turning bits especially ("Aiyiyo! Left-tu! Turn turn! Aiyiyo! Vegetable man! Horn ok, horn! horn!") .
"Ok ma. You are fast ah. Come tomorrow, same time ah. Okay tata bye bye. Go walking slow ah."
"OK sir, bye bye" I say all enthusiastic.
As I walk away, I can hear him mumble something about retirement.
I have a feeling that I will get my license very, very soon.
Now playing: MIMS - This Is Why Im Hot (2oo6)