A couple of weeks back, Amma casually sat next to me, near the computer. The moment I saw her "casual" (read: I will now spy on my daughter's apparently shady activities on the internet) look, I switched the browser tab from Facebook to a random photoshop tutorial, a conditioned reflex. But unfortunately, my mother has the eyesight of a rabbit on carrot steroids.
"Facebook a?"
"Yes ma, Facebook"
"I read about it in the newspaper. Why do you always close your facebook when I come nearby?"
"Illa ma, I was done with it, so I closed"
"Anikki, I heard Devi talking about it, she's on facebook la?"
The "Devi" in question was one of my mom's hipper friends from the school's aunty circuit. She'd watch The OC, could find her way about the internet without having her daughter dictate instructions over the phone (unlike my mother) and the lot. So when the friend request came from her, I was not sure of accepting it, because that way, my not-so "chamathu" friends circle would be exposed. However, I did accept, thank the lord for limited profile access.
"I want that facebook"
"Henh?"
"Create one for me, facebook. Adhaan nee onnume pannaliye, edhukku moonju kaatara?"
"Facebook a?"
"Yes ma, Facebook"
"I read about it in the newspaper. Why do you always close your facebook when I come nearby?"
"Illa ma, I was done with it, so I closed"
"Anikki, I heard Devi talking about it, she's on facebook la?"
The "Devi" in question was one of my mom's hipper friends from the school's aunty circuit. She'd watch The OC, could find her way about the internet without having her daughter dictate instructions over the phone (unlike my mother) and the lot. So when the friend request came from her, I was not sure of accepting it, because that way, my not-so "chamathu" friends circle would be exposed. However, I did accept, thank the lord for limited profile access.
"I want that facebook"
"Henh?"
"Create one for me, facebook. Adhaan nee onnume pannaliye, edhukku moonju kaatara?"
(Roughly translates to You don't do anything in it right, whats the face for?) My mother is the Chuck Norris of the household. She can make things happen with just one of her stares. And if she wants to, she can swear in a way that would make a sailor blush. Arguing with her was something I never did. If she asked me to do something I didn't want to do, I'd say yes and go to another room. But I literally had no room to get myself out of this situation. I could actually picture her facebook profile. Brrr.
"Unwanted ma"
"I know whats unwanted and whats wanted. I am your mother. Go to that website, now."
There are these times when you desperately hope that there is a God out there, and that he's actually watching your petty life. This was one such time. I bit my tongue and looked at the ceiling, as if he would break through the walls and stand before me. I opened one of my slower browsers, and instead of God, Mr.Murphy made an appearance and you guessed it, IE popped on thew screen in a flash. Amma gave me a triumphant smile, as if she was born for this.
F, i typed. A-C-E-B-O-O-K and the miracle happened - The phone rang and (hallelujah!) it was for Amma. The moment she stood up, I shut the system down and half sprinted to the kitchen for temporary sanctuary.
That night, when she gave me dinner, she had that look on that face. "One of these days paaru...One of these days" she said.
"Unwanted ma"
"I know whats unwanted and whats wanted. I am your mother. Go to that website, now."
There are these times when you desperately hope that there is a God out there, and that he's actually watching your petty life. This was one such time. I bit my tongue and looked at the ceiling, as if he would break through the walls and stand before me. I opened one of my slower browsers, and instead of God, Mr.Murphy made an appearance and you guessed it, IE popped on thew screen in a flash. Amma gave me a triumphant smile, as if she was born for this.
F, i typed. A-C-E-B-O-O-K and the miracle happened - The phone rang and (hallelujah!) it was for Amma. The moment she stood up, I shut the system down and half sprinted to the kitchen for temporary sanctuary.
That night, when she gave me dinner, she had that look on that face. "One of these days paaru...One of these days" she said.
While I gave her my that-day-can-wait smile, deep down inside, I knew the phone call was no coincidence. God had rescued me because he too, had seen what I saw. Amma's potential profile.
