November 28, 2008
In a rather shocking turn of events, it seems that the God himself has issued a rather strong message of condemnation with reference to the ...
In a rather shocking turn of events, it seems that the God himself has issued a rather strong message of condemnation with reference to the current order of things in the World.
The message left by Him was initially labeled as a “Mystery Mark” in the sky, but once a team of leading cryptologists around the world set to crack it, it was finally deciphered to being the international symbol of condemnation, commonly known as “The Finger”
“They be poppin’ homies trippin’ the big guy’s name, man! He ain’t pleased wi tha Jeehad shit, fo shizzle. And those guys, they gonna get served, ya get what I’m sayin’ man? Ma Brotha be havin some crazy skyllz”* said His spokesman, Gar00Dogg, upon further interrogation as to the exact reason behind this strong "Con-dayumm-nation". He did not reveal anything more about God's plans, but did reassure everything would become "fine....like Yo Mamma!" before launching into very loud and inappropriate laughter.
“I think like, what he’s like trying to like, say, is that he’s like pissed” said one leading cryptologist, following “The Finger” conclusion which was reached after much research and references with the latest technology in Cryptic Sciences, including the Harry Potter series.
Strangely enough, there have also been some bizarre sightings of an Old Indian man running about the streets screaming “Kalki is coming, Kalki is coming!” Eyewitnesses are especially perplexed. “I have been getting Kalki every week for the past two decades. I don’t find a reason to scream on the streets” said one resident, who wishes to remain anonymous.
With terrorism spreading everywhere in the world, this message comes as what could be a sign of things to come, say some other experts. “Dude, this is God showing the finger to those terrorist bastards, man. It’s a sign of like hope and maybe some more weird-ass things that could happen. Maybe it’s that Judgment Day thing that people keep talking about in Sunday School. I hope that’s covered in my Insurance, man.” said David Kinsley, President of The-International-Organization-Which-Holds-Emergency-Meetings-Whenever-There’s-A-Finger-In-The-Sky, after their emergency meeting in Geneva, whose attendance included Angelina Jolie-Pitt and her 25 children.
God, however, was unavailable for comment. Sources say that he was venting his anger on an Indian City by the name of Chennai, by diverting a cyclone in its direction and forcing its stranded residents to watch CNN-IBN, or worse, Times Now.
* - "It is unfortunate that these terrorists kill innocent lives in the name of God. Jihad is wrong, and pretty soon, God is going to be taking some serious action"
** - This picture, a fine example of excellence in photojournalism was taken by our special corespondent Ms.Chutney. Really.