Goodbye Tuesday

I am aware that it's been a while since I updated. There's been quite a bit of pressure from the work front and hence I was compel...

I am aware that it's been a while since I updated. There's been quite a bit of pressure from the work front and hence I was compelled to spend most of my time pretending to analyze a bunch of spreadsheets.

The week was quite eventful, I must say. It opened on a rather morbid note, with the date of my results being announced. I had my trademark I'm-done-for face the whole day in the client's place and the accountant, P was visibly concerned. When I explained the reason for my twisted expressions, he was only too happy to explain that he too had written the same exam as I did and spoke about passing the exam in the same manner as one would about passing an LKG addition test. "Vaazhkayila edhuliyume na thothadhilla ma" (I've never failed in my life) he said, in a manner that Rajnikanth would have been proud of. P may be 40 and fat, but you gotta hand it to that guy for his never think twice attitude - whether its to pass an accounting entry or scratch his crotch in public. In all honesty, if that guy clears and I don't, I'm taking a day off to go and throw bricks at the Institute building.

But more than my results, the issue which is seeming to cause tsunami like waves in the household is the whole swine flu scare. My mother seems to have taken full impact of all the ZOMG-swine-flu-we're-all-done-for type stories that have been doing the rounds in television news channels and papers, so much so that she has gone on a disinfecting spree. Amma actually bought one of those jumbo Dettol bottles and sanitized every last pillow cover, as a result of which our house smells like the corridor of Apollo Hospital. I understand the whole better-be-safe-than-sorry deal but I sincerely feel that allowing me to bunk office, err, avoid possible swine flu habitats would be more effective.
Come to think of it, I'm actually happy that my mother didn't prevent me from going to see Kaminey because of the flu. The deal was that we would be seeing it in Ega due to budget constraints among the peer group. Although Ega is renovated (read - no more compass holed seats), 99.99% of the crowd continues to be, Maarvadi. In the Shahid-Priyanka kissing scene, there were multiple hoots and whistles all around for a solid 2 minutes. I mean, I understand that they're a cute couple and all but this was absurd. My friend helpfully explained that almost all of them would sit for a second show just for this one scene. When I inquired as to why, he told me that they were too "excited" to see anything the first time and would actually watch what was happening only the next time. On a completely unrelated note, I thought Kaminey was a very fun movie.

Moving on, the week also saw a sharp increase in my s/km (no of vicious stares/kilometre) measurement. For all those who haven't driven in Chennai before, anyone who drives a car in this city are subject to vicious stares for no apparent reason from guys on bicycles who are convinced that their road presence is second only to the Chief Minister's, and other random people who insist that the middle of the road is the best place to stare at shop windows. While them plebeians may insist that the apparent cause of the increase is my complacency in the acceleration department, I would like to think that people only stare in my direction because I'm cute. But then again, why they would do so venomously is something one must ponder about.

Keeping with the whole theme of traffic, if there's anything that I find more pissing off than the woh-my-baby-be-my-sexy type english lyrics in Tamil songs these days, its these morons at the traffic signal who skip the signal when the orange comes on or get ahead when there's still around 10 seconds of waiting at the Stop sign. As if that it isn't obnoxious enough, these guys also honk incessantly in case your vehicle is blocking theirs.
Not judging here, but I'm pretty sure the guy in the TVS 50 whose path to glory I was blocking wasn't James Bond/a Heart surgeon with an emergency appointment/an international drug smuggler who is being chased by Interpol. Then maybe, his haste was understandable. But here's a man, whose emergency at the max, is meeting his attu girlfriend in Nageshwar Rao park for some lunch time louwings, who was honking as if his life depended on it! I didn't give him way though, which meant that 6 seconds later Mr.KLPD would overtake me and then turn around and shout at me in the same manner the Indian cricket fan would whenever Sreesanth comes to bowl. 3 seconds later he got caught by the Traffic Police for not wearing a helmet. It's at times like these that you're all the more certain that there is a God.

I know what you're thinking, and yes, you are allowed to be jealous of my glamourous lifestyle.

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  1. I miss driving in India. Its boring here.

  2. yesyes agree with Nandini. Driving in India is like having your heart in your mouth all the time. Reflexes better be good and all senses are alert. Here, only that rt foot works. Mayeb that's why they have the cruise option here..

    I was such a nightmarish daredevil on a 2-wheeler on the road back in the day. Now I feel like a tame-scaredy cat. *sigh

  3. I've been here like 3 days and I already miss driving around in Chennai. And I totally agree with you about scene-putting-TVS 50-drivers and the horrible tamil lyrics. Siigghh. What I'd do to drive there once again. To floor it on the road to Bessie. Ah, what joy I say!

  4. I will pray for your results...
    and abt the english lyrics in tamil songs..agree with u..hate it!


  5. Enjoyed this post!I'm jealous! All the best for your results.

    I know how you feel about the guys who start moving 10 seconds before the light turns green. I have often wondered about this myself and arrived at the inescapable conclusion that these guys can see the future. They have the gift. They know - KNOW - that ten seconds from now, the light will turn green, and start acting on that insight early like any world leader, or Warren Buffet, would.

    I'm sure this explanation will help you look at them more sympathetically. Why, I've been tempted to ask some of these visionaries for an autograph.

  6. Hehe.. the throwing bricks at the institute, I gotta see.

  7. why are you doing a Max with all those analogies?

    You are writing an exam that a 40 yr old is also writing ah? Now who should I judge? :p

  8. Pah, can't wait for you to pass and treat me already! :D

    If not, then we'll put up a sign-up sheet for volunteers for throwing bricks at the academy. :)

  9. Funny!
    Good luck.
    Please compile those #mokkamondays
    I promise to RT. :D


  10. Institute should anyways be treated with bricks for the new paint.
    Bloody Vaasthu color.. Crazy buggers !!
    Crotch Matter - You have an eye for detail !! ;)
    Guy honking to meet his attu girlfriend is manageable .. but guy honking to impress the attu pillion should be shot dead.. :D


  11. There's been quite a bit of pressure from the work front and hence I was compelled to spend most of my time pretending to analyze a bunch of spreadsheets."

    One benefit of the tax audit season is that we are provided with dinner for the pretending stuff. :P


  12. am jealous of all the dettoled glamour

  13. 20yr olds cribbing abt wrk pressure, wo gaad ganesha!

    You always come in the way of kaapuls doing some louws. First it was the ironbox hand cart, and now traffic signal obstruction!

  14. oh result season? all the beshtu...

    and i have heard so many horror stories about driving in chennai... but strangely not one about accountants blocking roads and delaying lauvv lunches...

  15. Hahahaha! I miss driving / riding in India too. Despite the fact that I ride a motorcycle here, I find it uber boring to do so on a freeway, numbs you.

    And just to dispel all that sombre feeling in the air, here is something which you might find interesting:

  16. Superb!! I just loved reading this one... Seems like you'd lot of fun last week....!!!

    You know, the most interesting thing is,

    All these incidents take place in everybody's daily life. Normal stuff. But, penning it down n reading it gives an entirely interesting feel to it. :)

    Superb!! :)

  17. Deivamey !!!!.... ippadi ezhudhradhukku ethini naal room poattu yosicheengalo.....

    And 'KLPD', is it what I am thinking ;-)

  18. > I miss driving in India.
    > Its boring here.

    Speak for yourself. And move to Boston. Driving in India is tame in comparison... :-\

    We aren't called Massholes for nothing.

  19. hahhaha...very funy 1!
    Just a trivia --->.2 % of total positive is mortality for swine flue, where as a child dies every 30 sec because of malaria which has been around since 1905!!!!

  20. @Metlin: I'd love to. Trust me.

    Atlanta is blah.

  21. Atlanta, eh? I went to grad school there.

    You know the only good thing about Atlanta? That it's near Florida.

  22. LOL @ "P may be 40 and fat, but you gotta hand it to that guy for his never think twice attitude - whether its to pass an accounting entry or scratch his crotch in public" - nicely phrased, I can almost imagine the thick glasses and the comb over.

    It takes talent to turn the ordinary funny. Good post. :-)

  23. Bhel, some fond memories of yourself back in the day? =)

  24. I miss driving in India ...It was fun ...

  25. My friend's policy on Indian roads is, "Namber aa gaya, to aa gaya." Driving with him is a pleasure, needless to say...

  26. Thanks everyone, and yea, driving in India gives an adrenaline rush which is second only to skydiving, lol.

  27. what is "attu" as in GF?

  28. Oye Chutney. Where in India did you skydive?

  29. This honking thing is horrible in Chennai! People have a feeling that all the people in the front of them are Green Color blind!
    ROFL @ the throwing bricks! :)
    All the best!

  30. Girl... u are simply Roflarious..

    was reading thru ur archives for past three days and u r minblowing,i say..

    ppl saw me laughing in spurts at office now n then and waondering wat happenened to the otherwise sane Rat... :-)

    keep typing

  31. 'Nageswararao Park kodumaigal' nu oru book ezhudalam nu iruken. Care to write a chapter?

    Just kidding.
    Sane. Thank you.

  32. [my complacency in the acceleration department]

    Gehahaha! Friggin' brilliant, I say!

  33. New terminology which you might want to use: Attu, Atter and Attest!


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