Saturday, March 20, 2010

The Chetan Bhagat Plot Generator


Why wait for Chetan Bhagat to release another book and not read it? I say, let's make our own Chetan Bhagat novels that we needn't buy!

Our book is going to be on:

The hero and key loser of this story is:

His co-loser and culturally diverse friends, please

The extremely intelligent, beautiful, feminist heroine who our hero screws around with (multiple times):

So what do our boys want in life?

Which they intend to achieve by:



And where is all this happening?

Pick any 3 social stereotypes/prejudices that you may want our loser-hero to confront (isn't this fun?)





Now, about the man himself! What do YOU think of Chetan Bhagat?

The newspaper that will review this awesome book will be:





This post was based on the the Dan Brown Plot generator.

145 comments:

  1. One more smart post out of you, young lady...

    ReplyDelete
  2. didn't some help you with errors?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahahahahahaha! When the extremely beautiful Abithakuchalambal enters their lives, things change like never before.
    ROFL! ROFL!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG! jus amazing...indeed brilliant peice! LMAO!

    ReplyDelete
  5. thought this was some BS until i saw the hit me button. good job. first time seeing somethin like this in a blog. (i follow only few blogs FYI :P)

    ReplyDelete
  6. What have Punjabi Aunties ever done for you????

    :D Good stuff, I say.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Abithakuchalambal?! Wow how do you come up with such names?!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Aiyo arputham !
    semma terror !

    ReplyDelete
  9. After reading this post chetan bhagat should move back to his old job as investment banker!! LOLZ. u av revealed his trade (patented ! :P) secret. good work.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I don't know this Chetan Bhagat fellow, but the post was funny. The Dan Brown one was also good, but Abhithakuchalambal can kick Susan's ass any day, as we all know.

    ReplyDelete
  11. that's outrageously funny.. great post.. keep it coming.. saala I couldn't stand that guy in the 2 states.. remba kevala paduthitan nammaalungala.. nalla venum.. :D

    ReplyDelete
  12. When Sheetal enters their lives, things change like never before.
    Life in Bathinda is tough indeed, because every pretty girl has equally scary brothers.
    And they would love to embrace Chetan the Chip into the old block...

    Brilliant.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I second porkodi. http://bit.ly/9oXeAw

    ReplyDelete
  14. Neat work as usual ... just a couple of pointers ...

    The title of the book should have mention of a number ...(Five, One, Three and Two have been taken already though)

    The protagonists in his novels are usually named after many of Krishna's, so the hero's name selector in this plot generator is slightly flawed ....

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  15. lolz so much like chetan bhagat

    [i]As Chetan Bhagat would say it ...
    Meet Ankit, Om & Steve. All they wanted was to get blocked by Chetan Bhagat on twitter, and killing polar bears seemed to be the perfect plan. But life is never that easy in Bathinda, and when the extremely beautiful Abithakuchalambal enters their lives, things change like never before. Follow Ankit as he fights against Chennai's autodrivers, Punjabi aunties and even corruption to realize his dreams. Is one dream one too many? Will they make it?

    From the bestselling author of Five Point Someone and One Night @ The Call Centre comes yet another witty tale about Homosexuality in Modern India

    Hilarious! - The Times of Kyrghyztan[/i]

    ReplyDelete
  16. haha LOL kickass!!hope mr cb reads this post,the poor guy wil think twice before he picks up the blighted pen again:)rotten eggs,oops,chutney splattered al over the bloke's face;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. You know, I read '2 States' while I was in India and I was thinking the exact same thing. Hilariously well done post, this!

    "Meet Shiv, Swami & Mohammad. All they wanted was to become successful, and pirating novels seemed to be the perfect plan. But life is never that easy in Tirunelveli, and when the extremely beautiful Abithakuchalambal enters their lives, things change like never before. Follow Shiv as he fights against religion, inter-community relationships and even Punjabi aunties to realize his dreams. Is one dream one too many? Will they make it?"

    ReplyDelete
  18. Best part was 'The truth', ergo, Craptastic!

    Pure brilliance! :D

    ReplyDelete
  19. I am weirdly reminded of Krishna Kottage that use to come on Jaya TV long ago.. perhaps cuz of Abits. :P
    Nice one there :)

    ReplyDelete
  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nice one! Should give this link to people who claim "Nobody can write like Chetan Bhagat!"

    ReplyDelete
  22. @everyone - thanks!

    @atul
    um, abithakuchalambal is a VERY valid tamil iyer name :)

    @I Witness
    Haha, I didn't put *that* much effort into reading his books. Thanks :)

    @porkodi & santa
    It wouldn't be the first time. For me atleast :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Everyone, this post wouldn't have been possible w/out the coding brilliance that is Maxdavinci. Thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Somewhere some1 is spendin ova 12 mnths to craft a novel... whereas here sme1 is dng dat with jst 12 drop down menus.. Kewl

    ReplyDelete
  25. Meet Nirag, Swami & Mohammad. All they wanted was to get blocked by Chetan Bhagat on twitter, and killing polar bears seemed to be the perfect plan. But life is never that easy in Bathinda, and when the extremely beautiful Monjulika enters their lives, things change like never before. Follow Nirag as he fights against Punjabi aunties, Chennai's autodrivers and even communalism to realize his dreams. Is one dream one too many? Will they make it?
    From the Craptastic author of Five Point Someone and One Night @ The Call Centre comes yet another witty tale about Milkmen in Modern India

    Hilarious! - The Times of Kyrghyztan

    ReplyDelete
  26. How come everybody is attracted to Abithakuchalambal wonly?
    Hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Good one.. though the hero always has a variation of Krishna's name
    Hari.. Shyam.. Govind.. Krish.. Nandagopal(?) SivaramaKRISHNAN(?)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Chetan Bhagat didn't quit his job to become a full time writer ..... his boss kicked him out after reading his books :D :D :D

    ReplyDelete
  29. brilliant! i loved the option of abhithakuchalambal, but seeing as my tale took place in bathinda, i had to opt for the rather more plausible pooja. btw, why are even the auotrickshaw-karaars in bathinda from chennai? he he. haven't played mad libs in ages, but have you considered compiling several of similar sets into a book? it would be great.

    ReplyDelete
  30. LOL at Abithakuchalambal! My uncle used to tease me saying that he'd suggested that name for me when I was born - he still calls me Abitha once in a while :D

    ReplyDelete
  31. whattay awesome post! Now major html, javascript coder also eh?! Kalaku, if CA flop, you ll get job in IT!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Nice fresh concept…. Liked it :)

    But about the plots of bhagat’s book, they can look similar as the main theme of his stories are the common problems in Indian society & system. It is the way he narrate things makes the story interesting.
    I like his writing, He writes for masses I feel.

    ReplyDelete
  33. whatever happened to tamizhpenn?
    ne idea?

    ReplyDelete
  34. and about the post

    ekko engayao poittel pongo :P

    ReplyDelete
  35. Hilarious! Though, barring his questionable grammar and cliched plots, I have to say I have enjoyed Bhagat's books. If anything, because he faces no competition in his genre (hint: start writing, coconut chutney!)

    ReplyDelete
  36. Other options in the drop down ought to include 'software engineers sitting on bench and acquiring insane skills at swatting flies' and papers could've had names like 'dubakoor times' and 'the loafing hindu' ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  37. ha ha ha ha epic :)

    super fantastic excellent bale :D

    ReplyDelete
  38. This guy's(Chetan Bhagat) first book was different and a good read. But his subsequent books have become predictable. And I always get the feeling that he writes a filmy script so that filmmakers make a movie out of his book.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ipdika ellam panna how Bhagat paiyan book vithufying? How pondaati kapathufying? Nyayama!

    ReplyDelete
  40. You got me at Abithakuchalambal girl! :D LOL big time! You do know you have an alternate career option hounding you, don't you? :D Awesome post!

    ReplyDelete
  41. i think you should do a Raju Hirani movie template generator as well.. jadhu ki jappi/all is well/ - old readers digest jokes - heroine caught between father and lover .. etc etc ..

    this blog was fun .. keep it going

    ReplyDelete
  42. You forgot -

    Choose a number to be on the title -
    5
    1
    3
    2
    pi

    ReplyDelete
  43. Romba nanna irukkudi ponne! Dhriti suthi pottukko.

    ReplyDelete
  44. What do guys want in life? think you missed some important options...Did you get Abitha kuchalambal from PSBB's Sanskrit stints? This is the next best thing after MIT's random paper generator:D

    ReplyDelete
  45. Chetan is my friend from our IIT hostel days. I intend to show this post to him. :D

    ReplyDelete
  46. Just now suggested Chetan bhagat to read this post. http://twitter.com/maddytwitts

    I would like to read how the Abithakuchalambal! character unveil.

    ReplyDelete
  47. just stumbled on to ur blog! it's hilarious and more importantly helps me pass time in office :)

    ReplyDelete
  48. lol... :D
    How did you come up with this 'hilarious' idea?

    ReplyDelete
  49. Great work. A lot of spam on chetans blog is along same lines.

    ReplyDelete
  50. ROFL. too good. Wish this idea were yours.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Can you please revert back to the old layout of the web page. This all green design sucks......Though it is your blog, but it is us who read and Since I have been following your writing for a few years now, I feel that the old one was nicer.

    Balaji

    ReplyDelete
  52. chutney please revert to your old layout, that was so much like you....

    Bezoar

    ReplyDelete
  53. Very smart work..keept it going..
    hilarious too

    ReplyDelete
  54. Please revert back to your old layout! That was so 'you'.. like the fresh cocunut chutney! Please!!

    ReplyDelete
  55. now that u have figured out how to plot ur novel why dont u start writing one, ur posts are already such a huge hit.. i am sure ur books will be flying off the shelves even before releasing ;)

    ReplyDelete
  56. Visit my blog www.shebasamuel.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  57. Hi Lavanya,
    Just stumbled onto your blog a few days . Yours is one of the hilarious blogs i have ever read . You would give the comedians in Kollywood a serious run for their money . Man , your blog must come with a statutory warning like "Not to be read during office hours " or "induces uncontrollable laughing like an idiot " or "effects similar to exposure to laughing gas."

    ReplyDelete
  58. its like someone very jealous about CB cant satnd his success and the comments from others are also like that.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Chetan Bhagat is published, famous and makes a ton of money for writing crap. Ofcourse I'm jealous

    ReplyDelete
  60. Crap sells. period. why don't you try and overtake him by writing better crap instead of being jealous ?

    ReplyDelete
  61. Just awesome...

    first stop at your blog and kicking myself why didn't I find this jem sooner...

    ReplyDelete
  62. @alan
    feedback is appreciated. elucidate.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Excellent post, as usual.

    But you could have chosen something simpler, like an Ilaya thalapathy Vijay Movie Template Generator. That way, you would need just one drop down box - Occupation.

    ReplyDelete
  64. what would chethan bhagat say on reading this post.
    if he was like Gounds in suriyan
    "Arasiyalla idhellam sadharnam appa"

    or like Vaigai puyal

    "Enna vechu kamadi kimadi pannaliye"

    ReplyDelete
  65. not to start throwing the book on u. yaen ippidi inspired work ellam panra. ur original humor is much much better than this 'inspired work'. i enjoyed your wit and humor in the original form. next is what? TR thangachi sentimentizeraa?

    btw, CA examla blog skin change panrathukku mark kudupaangalaa? nallaa iruntha skinna vitutu ithenna pudina chutney style? coconut chutney was better, clean and suits the mood...

    ReplyDelete
  66. Too bright!! please revert to old layout.. kthxbai

    ReplyDelete
  67. Heheheeeehe
    Awesome! Hilarious! Brilliant!!!
    I love every single word you write!!
    and "Abithakuchalambal"! Oh my god! Hilarious!!!

    ReplyDelete
  68. Like your Iyer post that was ripped off Goodness Gracious Me, this is also ripped off from the "The automated Dave Barry column generator"

    http://www.peacefire.org/staff/bennett/autodave/

    ReplyDelete
  69. How long will you thrive on plagiarism?

    http://humor.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.peacefire.org/staff/bennett/autodave/

    ReplyDelete
  70. @anon & phoenix
    dear sirs,
    Towards the end of the post, you should see a grey button that says "hit me". Do you see it?
    Good.
    Right below that grey button, there is a sentence. Do you see it? Awesome! Have a cookie. Can you read it? Try, no? I'm sure you can. It says, "Based on the Dan Brown plot generator". Nice no? That was where I got the idea from. And that sentence right there, is the credit.
    Do you understand? Or would you like me to use smaller words?

    ReplyDelete
  71. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Hi Lavanya,
    Nice post! Even nicer is the reply to your critics. Thats what made me delurk....I have been reading and enjoying your blog for a while now.
    I get that you are a PSBB alumni (sorry if I am wrong, thought I might have read that somewhere in your blog. Just wanted to say me too! way back though...almosta decade.
    keep up the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Oh gawd this has to be the funniest post I came across the blogosphere in a long time.Kudos to you ^^

    ReplyDelete
  74. I liked it so very much. But u missed out one option. Chetan bagat is a big time loser too.

    ReplyDelete
  75. awesome...I'm so glad I came across this post of yours. makes me believe there's still sanity in this world!!!

    ReplyDelete
  76. people calling an IIT IIM grad, and one of the bestselling writers of India,a loser...whatever happened to the grey cells..a sick post.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Nice one. Lot of work into this post eh? Putting up stories for all sorts of combinations!

    ReplyDelete
  78. y r ppl so much obsessed with iit iim. wat has an institution got to do with a person.

    ReplyDelete
  79. 100! ;)

    enna chutney, got married or what? :P (21.. long time, no post..)

    ReplyDelete
  80. Wow! chutneycase.com Estimated Worth $8132.2 USD. See for yourself at http://www.websiteoutlook.com/www.chutneycase.com
    Amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Hey ... Come on Girl !!! You need to be more frequent ... Your readers are asking for more !! Its been ages ... Post a new one !!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  82. ya, I second Hariharan.

    Even Krish Ashok is more regular than you.

    What is keeping you so busy? Boyfriend??

    ReplyDelete
  83. hahahahaha!!
    People are so innovative, and talented.
    btw, TOI is the newspaper that's always ass-licking Chetan Bhagat.
    It should've been among the choices.
    nevertheless, this is hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  84. Meet Nikhil, Mike & Ramachandramoorthy. All they wanted was to get blocked by Chetan Bhagat on twitter, and killing polar bears seemed to be the perfect plan. But life is never that easy in Tirunelveli, and when the extremely beautiful Abithakuchalambal enters their lives, things change like never before. Follow Nikhil as he fights against Punjabi aunties, Punjabi aunties and even Punjabi aunties to realize his dreams. Is one dream one too many? Will they make it?
    From the bestselling author of Five Point Someone and One Night @ The Call Centre comes yet another witty tale about some weird shit in Modern India

    Hilarious! - The Times of Kyrghyztan

    LOllllllll!!!
    ROFL!!! too gooood

    ReplyDelete
  85. Really witty and very meaningful post!

    ReplyDelete
  86. Cummon man i read someone's whole blog in one go, i mean from ur first post to the very last.HA! I love it...The good old days of blogging r back!

    ReplyDelete
  87. Very funny. I hope he takes up the challenge and write on something else for a change!

    ReplyDelete
  88. We need people like you to make people understand. Our youth is misled by cheap writing by Chetan Bhagat. We also need to understand the difference between the types of Hippocrates that exist, as one species is of CB.

    Keep the spirit alive.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Anushree RastogiMay 11, 2010 at 4:57 AM

    loved the post .. L.E.G.E.N.D.A.R.Y. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  90. hahaha good job!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  91. "another witty tale about some weird shit in Modern India"
    Hee hee :D

    ReplyDelete
  92. Way to go girl!!

    ReplyDelete
  93. hahaa... I feel like a writer now....

    ReplyDelete
  94. Awesome post!! 'Punjabi aunties and Chennai's autorickshaw drivers' - superb combination!!

    ReplyDelete
  95. I seriously Appreciated and enjoyed your blog up and until i saw this post.

    Wonder why you die hard "100 Rupee book" critics of Chetan Bhagat never reply to the fact that if he was crap or maybe even worse than that, you could write still better crap and make much more millions than him? It shouldnt be difficult to write crap, right , especially for a person who has 500 fans following her? :)

    And for all those people out there, who think his story is plain predictable -
    What about thalaivar Rajinikanth? Its the same story line, right? right from annamalai, padayappa to sivaji - poor man becoming rich man? Do you stop watching his movies because they are predictable? { Goes to all tamil folks out here. } Arent there critics who say that he is a balding 60 year old man and ought to do grandpa roles? But would you or I buy that logic? I do understand that many of you would say that he has a style and charisma that none can match. Fine! Acceptable! But what about Chetan Bhagat? Plain simple, Use lavanya's multi generator and each one of you can become a millionaire, right?

    Chetan Bhagat has thousands of critics but millions of fans. Dont forget that his book was a trend setter. Only after his "5 point someone", people even actually started writing and reading his genre of books. His book opened a market in India ( much before blogging entered the scenario) and gave talented writers an opportunity to write their books, get famous and make money. It is fine to criticize him, but give him his due, when he is worth it.

    Critics like you are fit only to criticize. As you said, your plain jealous. Rather than having a burning stomach, you should write a book yourself, get it printed ( and for all those fans of yours who said you have alternate career in your hands - first see if you can get it printed ) , earn a fraction of what he does and get a fan base fractionally his, and then you can start bashing him. I too would join with you that day.

    If you cannot, just shut up, and stick to your original posts in the blog. Your much better doing that. This is not humour, cheap criticism and jealousy.

    ReplyDelete
  96. @anon
    Whoa! I am not a critic. Like you rightly pointed out, I am not eligible to criticize him. Chetan Bhagat, in my opinion, is one of the greatest things that has happened to the Indian public where the reading habit was concerned. He's a really really really smart guy who knows exactly who to target.

    This post was in jest. I am sorry if it didn't make you laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  97. @chutney
    I don't see any reason why you should apologize. I criticize tendulkar doesn't mean I be better than him. period. To criticize a particular Rahman song I don't have to be a better musician. There are tonnes of food critics, wine tasters who are shit at cooking / brewing. That anon fart is most probably a pissed off IITian who is brainwashed by his seniors to protect the holy IIT brand at whatever cost.

    ReplyDelete
  98. @anon
    didn't apologize for what i wrote. i only apologized cause i didnt make him laugh, which is what i try to do in this blog.
    thanks, though - and be nice. :)

    ReplyDelete
  99. I seriously Appreciated and enjoyed your blog up and until i saw this post.

    Wonder why you die hard "100 Rupee book" critics of Chetan Bhagat never reply to the fact that if he was crap or maybe even worse than that, you could write still better crap and make much more millions than him? It shouldnt be difficult to write crap, right , especially for a person who has 500 fans following her? :)

    And for all those people out there, who think his story is plain predictable -
    What about thalaivar Rajinikanth? Its the same story line, right? right from annamalai, padayappa to sivaji - poor man becoming rich man? Do you stop watching his movies because they are predictable? { Goes to all tamil folks out here. } Arent there critics who say that he is a balding 60 year old man and ought to do grandpa roles? But would you or I buy that logic? I do understand that many of you would say that he has a style and charisma that none can match. Fine! Acceptable! But what about Chetan Bhagat? Plain simple, Use lavanya's multi generator and each one of you can become a millionaire, right?

    Chetan Bhagat has thousands of critics but millions of fans. Dont forget that his book was a trend setter. Only after his "5 point someone", people even actually started writing and reading his genre of books. His book opened a market in India ( much before blogging entered the scenario) and gave talented writers an opportunity to write their books, get famous and make money. It is fine to criticize him, but give him his due, when he is worth it.

    Critics like you are fit only to criticize. As you said, your plain jealous. Rather than having a burning stomach, you should write a book yourself, get it printed ( and for all those fans of yours who said you have alternate career in your hands - first see if you can get it printed ) , earn a fraction of what he does and get a fan base fractionally his, and then you can start bashing him. I too would join with you that day.

    If you cannot, just shut up, and stick to your original posts in the blog. Your much better doing that. This is not humour, cheap criticism and jealousy.

    ReplyDelete
  100. hahaha good job!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  101. Really witty and very meaningful post!

    ReplyDelete
  102. Cummon man i read someone's whole blog in one go, i mean from ur first post to the very last.HA! I love it...The good old days of blogging r back!

    ReplyDelete
  103. Nice one. Lot of work into this post eh? Putting up stories for all sorts of combinations!

    ReplyDelete
  104. awesome...I'm so glad I came across this post of yours. makes me believe there's still sanity in this world!!!

    ReplyDelete
  105. Hi Lavanya,
    Nice post! Even nicer is the reply to your critics. Thats what made me delurk....I have been reading and enjoying your blog for a while now.
    I get that you are a PSBB alumni (sorry if I am wrong, thought I might have read that somewhere in your blog. Just wanted to say me too! way back though...almosta decade.
    keep up the laughs!

    ReplyDelete
  106. not to start throwing the book on u. yaen ippidi inspired work ellam panra. ur original humor is much much better than this 'inspired work'. i enjoyed your wit and humor in the original form. next is what? TR thangachi sentimentizeraa?

    btw, CA examla blog skin change panrathukku mark kudupaangalaa? nallaa iruntha skinna vitutu ithenna pudina chutney style? coconut chutney was better, clean and suits the mood...

    ReplyDelete
  107. its like someone very jealous about CB cant satnd his success and the comments from others are also like that.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Hi Lavanya,
    Just stumbled onto your blog a few days . Yours is one of the hilarious blogs i have ever read . You would give the comedians in Kollywood a serious run for their money . Man , your blog must come with a statutory warning like "Not to be read during office hours " or "induces uncontrollable laughing like an idiot " or "effects similar to exposure to laughing gas."

    ReplyDelete
  109. As Chetan Bhagat would say it ...

    Meet Shiv, Om & Steve. All they wanted was to get blocked by Chetan Bhagat on twitter, and killing polar bears seemed to be the perfect plan. But life is never that easy in Noida, and when the extremely beautiful Monjulika enters their lives, things change like never before. Follow Shiv as he fights against Chennai's autodrivers, Chennai's autodrivers and even Chennai's autodrivers to realize his dreams. Is one dream one too many? Will they make it?
    From the Craptastic author of Five Point Someone and One Night @ The Call Centre comes yet another witty tale about some weird shit in Modern India

    Hilarious! - The Times of Kyrghyztan

    ReplyDelete

Please note: The views expressed in this blog are the author's own. However, she is not responsible for the comments that have been left on the page and the same need not necessarily reflect her viewpoint on the same and are entirely the commenters' own. Ok, now read the rest of the blog already.