Noise

My classes begin at 6.15 AM, which means I have to get my car out at 6. The last few months, a few mongrel type dogs have been living under ...

My classes begin at 6.15 AM, which means I have to get my car out at 6. The last few months, a few mongrel type dogs have been living under our cars. We had always had the odd dog(s) living underneath our cars for the last few years and I had never been afraid of them because of the fact that all of them had developed conditioned reflexes. All I had to do was say shoo! and they'd disappear without much fuss.

The first morning I got down to drive to class, I noticed that there were two dogs underneath my Swift. I rapped the car and said a loud shoo! One dog ran out. Another came out, looked at me, and snarled. You know that split second feeling when you know something mildly awful is going to happen and that you have to run but can't, because that nerve which connects your brain to your legs has suddenly disappeared?

It's called fear.

Before I knew what was happening, I was in my first dog chase. Not only was I running at speeds Usian Bolt'd have been proud of, but I was hollering as well (think capital letters in font size 72). Thankfully, my darling mother rushed out to see what was happening, but before she could figure out what was happening, I leaped sideways into door (full matrix style) and closed it.

"What happened?"

I panted in reply. I couldn't breathe, let alone speak.

"Dog..."

"Where?"

"Dog.."

She gingerly opened the door and peeped out, but I couldn't bear to look. What if the dog had gathered its dog army and was just waiting outside to pounce and rip us apart? What if Amma got the first hit? I'd have to save her. And then the dog would get me, which was probably part of it's evil plan anyway. I'd get rabies! Or worse, I'd have to get my leg amputated and I probably couldn't wear jeans ever again, which would be thoroughly depressing because then I'd have to donate my Guess pair. I could see it, no I could smell it. I was going to become a denim deprived amputated motivational speaker who spoke about overcoming the pitfalls of destiny. Or something. On the bright side, Amma might let me bunk class.

She stepped out, and I followed her closely (I'm brave like that) but instead of the vicious dog, it was Balaraman, the watchman next door.
"Enna Aachu?"
(what happened?)

"Naai ma. Paavam Lalle romba bayandhidichu"
(Dog, ma. Poor Lalle got scared.)
(Also, yes, Lalle. I know. Another day, children. Another day. )

"Naai enga? innum irukka?"
(Where's the dog? Is it still there?)

"Illiye. Lalle veetu pakkam odicha, naai dho, annanda therupakkam odichu"
(No. She ran towards the house, the dog ran towards the street)

And no, Amma didn't let me bunk class.

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41 comments

  1. nice one :) nan than 1st comment :)

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  2. dogs kum freedom venum la?, athuga freedom ha nama parikum pothu athugalum sila neram ippadi nadanthukum :)writing method nalla iruku :)

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  3. hehe..LOL @denim deprived

    I'm quite eager to know about 'Lalle' now! :D

    -Saranya

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  4. Lalle Pappa, very nicely done. Reminded me of the dog chase scene from Shantaram - with a Chutney twist, of course.

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  5. hahahahaha. your writing is infinitely entertaining.

    also, advice for the next dog encounter: they can quite literally smell fear. NEVER run, no matter how scared you are. stay planted in one place, breathe, don't give them any *reason* to chase you, b/c if they think they can intimidate you by chasing you, they will. make them think you're in charge and not scared, and they'll leave you alone.

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  6. 6:15? Um, where do you study?

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  7. obviously the dog was angry that you woke it up at 6am! who wouldn't be! :P

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  8. rofl (on the imaginary post i wrote on behalf of nalli, the naai.)!!!!

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  9. for a moment i thought the dog's name was lallie. next sentence cleared the confusion.

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  10. Hi Chutney, great post as always! I'm a regular at your site but this is the first time I'm leaving a comment. Please post more often.

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  11. Nice. Regarding other posts, it would be great if you can use "Machan"/"Machi" instead of "Macha"! That's how Amits or Abey boys use it, and not to mention, it sounds completely Pseudo!

    Cheers

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  12. Very much disappointed chutney. Very much.

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  13. @Anonymous - Agreed.. Macha sounds completely Amiteur.. :P

    Machan and Machi is how it feels like home..

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  14. Good one, can totally relate to stray dogs :-P Coincidentally, this one -

    http://thevarunfactor.blogspot.com/2010/12/canine-crisis.html

    Canine crisis for sure!

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  15. Actually you scared the dog and adu theruva vitte odidichu.
    I wud rather think of those 16 injections when I think of dog bites.
    And I wanna know about Lalle now.
    I thought ur nick name was laalu. :)

    Nice post as usual.

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  16. You know your post reminds me of my teenage/college years. :--) Pure bliss. Enjoy while it lasts, Lalleeeeeeeee. :--D

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  17. Amiteur! That's a good one! Way to go comrade!

    S.

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  18. wonderful... !! :)

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  20. Excellent narration.
    However, how does the title ('Noise') represent the post? An alternate could have been 'vidigaalai naaigal'! :P

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  21. how come next door watchmen have such nice names in all narrations? :P

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  22. LOL!! kolaikalainga...just sirichen... neenga bayapadaadheenga .... :) good one.

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  23. lalle ku oru villi!!! ha ha ha!!

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  24. actually 'Noise' ku badhila 'Naais' nu vechirkalam...

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  25. oru naai thirumbi pathathuke ippadiya ,,,ungala ellam mid night'la bangalore SG Palyala nadaka vidanum

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  27. "Think capital letters in font size 72" - Awesome!

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  28. I'm cross referencing your blog on my site. Hope you won't sue me.

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  29. "You know that split second feeling when you know something mildly awful is going to happen and that you have to run but can't, because that nerve which connects your brain to your legs has suddenly disappeared?"
    Brilliant...

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  30. very naais...i mean...very nice! ;)

    http://lazythinktank.blogspot.com/

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  31. Great expressive language yaar.Quite long time since I have read like this from some of my students. Good, Keep entertaining! n Thank you.( My brother Nagappan MSE recommended this site)

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  32. I must say... you're one of a kind!

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  33. U'r writing defines the finer expressions of the incident .... Someday U should seriously try scripting

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  34. yaah.. this is what happened when i go for a drive at late nights.. the street dogs would bounce close to the cars..

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  35. Congrats on scaring on a dog. That's one feat I'm yet to accomplish.

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  36. You are a wonderfully entertaining writer! My first ever comment here, I found you via Shenoy blog. Looking forward to reading more of your escapades. I particularly enjoyed the golu one :)

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