On Cows

The family made a trip to the ancestral village (and many many temples) last weekend. I jumped at the opportunity, ofcourse. It was my on...


The family made a trip to the ancestral village (and many many temples) last weekend. I jumped at the opportunity, ofcourse. It was my one big chance to write that moving documentary on India's Rural Landscapes, which would eventually pave it's way into becoming the inspiration behind the script of the next Bharatiraaja movie, and stand as our family's greatest achievement, and maybe even overshadow 1970s-IIT athimber's letter to The Hindu. "Did you hear?" they would say in the next family gathering (I say gathering and not get together/function, because ours gossips at deaths too. But not about the deceased of course. We save that for the next death. Keep it classy, people) "She wrote a moving documentary on the rural landscapes of India which eventually paved it's way into becoming the inspiration for the next Bharatiraaja movie!" 

"Really? How nice. Did you hear Calcutta Paati's grand daughter eloped?" 

Because you know, only a true achievement would be discussed before someone eloping. 

Unfortunately, the only landscape I got to investigate the entire weekend was that of my digestive system's since I had (most predictably) succumbed to travel sickness. But, but. During my  fleeting stay in the village I discovered something that could change my life forever. 

Cows. 

Lots of cows. Managing cows. Mooing cows. Healthy cows. Cheese. Paneer. Milk. Ramaraj. Maybe not Ramaraj, but it was definitely something that could change my life forever. Even if it didn't, it seemed like a pretty great excuse to sell to my father at that time to avoid the heart burn/attack/pain/brain hemorrhage etc of writing CA Final in case I flunked again, which was a very real possibility.  

"Appa, who takes care of all these cows?"

"In the village, I think every one has their own set of cows. I don't think one person owns them all."

"Is there a Dairy Farm close by?"

"No, I don't think so. But considering the number of cows here, and the space available, there should be."

"I think I should start one. It would be a great alternate career if results aren't in my favor."

"Hahahahahaha! Definitely. If you'd known this was what you wanted to do before, you needn't have studied so much! But let me ask you something, you're sure you'll go around telling people that you're taking care of a bunch of cows?"

"Ha. I thought about this, so I came up with an excellent name for my organization.  I'll call it Kamalapuram Pasu Management Group. So if anyone asks anything, I'll be like Oh, I'm the Director at KPMG!" 

My father laughed uproariously for twenty minutes.

"Hehe." I offered.

"You're joking only no?"

"Not really."

And he laughed for twenty more. 



PS: BY THE BYS! Results did turn out in my favour! I'm a Chartered Accountant now! But I still think the Dairy Farm is a great idea.
PPS: Pasu is tamil for cow.

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71 comments

  1. Congrats on the CA! I cant imagine how you did it!! I'd have had to do the bridging course first and then 2years of CA. Not happening :P

    Hahaha...I could then tell everyone you worked for a rival firm as well

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  2. Yay! You cleared your CA!  :) Congratulations! So so happy for you !

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  3. wohooo congratulations :D :D

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  4. Many congrats and best wishes for the future plans :)

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  5. all hail the future director of 'KPMG' :D

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  6. Hahahaha!!! 
    My father would probably leave me with the Pasus even if I was only joking. I didn't get into IIT first and now if I want to look after cows instead of going to America, what will he tell everyone?Ps: Congrats!!

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  7. Wonderful blog :) CA + Director of KPMG

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  8. Vazhthukkal! =) Inime samaya kasa karakkalam! :D

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  9. congrats.. now that u completed the singular achievement and already landed the Director's post at KPMG, can we expect more frequent posts.. :)

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  10. Congrats! Well deserved title. Please let me know when you can do my taxes :-)

    Bhel

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  11. Congratulations on not needing to give exams anymore :-)

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  12. Kongrats...

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  13. My dad used to suggest this career for me every time I scored two marks less than the topper-girl in cycle tests! Though not at the management level, but more at the employee-level (Rendu maadu vaangi tharen, poyi meyi!) (It was always just two cows for some reason, maybe he realized me natural limitations even there). Still keeping options open.

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  14. Congrats for your results....

    but director at KPMG would have been great!!!!!!!!1

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  15. Congrats..Treat for the readers? Hope you will post more often..:)

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  16.  My father suggests the career of 'kuppai kottifying' for me. He says I may not even ace that. :/

    I don't exactly know what a CA does but yay! Good for you! Congrats!!

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  17. Congratulations on the C.A! *It's* a wonderful achievement. A dairy farm is a good idea, but *its* scope is limited.

    See how I am cleverly mean to you?

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  18. I'm signing up to be your first client!

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  19. Congratulations!!! You mastered that big mountain of books you posted earlier?! Amazing!

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  20.  Congratulations!

    BTW, "it's" means "it is" or "it has". The possessive / genitive of "it" is "its", which has no apostrophe.

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  21. The grammar Nazi strikes again!!! 

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  22. Years or may be even months later, you will come back to this post and wonder why you did not do this.
    Congratulations ;incidentally working with KPMG, the real audit one.

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  23. Hai Trolls. "It's" a typo. One of the hazards of the iPhone Notes app. 



    Everyone else, thanks! :)

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  24. For Pete(r)'s sake, I did congratulate you. The "its" thing was beside the point. Anyway, enjoy your success!

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  25. Srinivasan MoharkondaJanuary 20, 2012 at 12:25 PM

    Congratulation for your Success in CA..but keep blogging!!!

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  26. Congratulations!

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  27. Congrats :) ...I hope u recollect this masterpiece once u are the partner at KPMG :) 

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  28. Its such as you learn my mind! You appear to understand so much approximately this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I believe that you can do with some % to force the message house a little bit, however other than that, this is magnificent blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.
    love sms

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  29. Congratulations Chutney - your CA results finally got me out of my lurking, lazy bum state to comment :) I am sure you will love being Director at KPMG - so keep your dreams alive, we are nothing without them!
    - Saumya
    (http://NourishnCherish.wordpress.com)

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  30. congratulations chutney

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  31. I know :) thanks!

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  32. Congrats!! Now expecting some dig at corporate world!

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  33. Congrats to you... And all the very best!

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  34. Packers and movers GurgaonJanuary 23, 2012 at 6:07 PM

    congrats chutney..:)


    Movers
    and packers Noida

     

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  35. Congratulations!!!! Now maybe you'll write more here?

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  36. vanden daa paal kaaren, ada-daaa; pasu maatu patti paada pooren....pullu kudutaa....paal kudukum.....maybe you can audit KPMG's results. 

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  37. dear lavanya, congratulations for your exam results. very happy for you.
    i am a regular reader of your blog. it is the best time pass activity for me after i decided to stay at home as a home maker.
    you are really very very good with words girlie...
    keep writing....
    take care...

    obli priya dharshika

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  38. and the first blog which i read was 'deviance' in 2008. the link to that was shared to me and many others ( almost everyone) in my office ( hewlett packard ) by a colleague...it was totally awesome..i have been following you since then...i admire the ease with which you write... you are really excellent...keep up the good work...

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  39. Congrats on the CA ! Kalakungo :)

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  40. Congratulations, newly-minted CA!

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  41. balasubrahmanian sFebruary 1, 2012 at 2:59 PM

    neenga KPMG director aiteenga na, enakku oru velai pottu kudungo, please. chinna vayasulaye appa poi madu meyi da nu solluvar.

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  42. Congrats on the CA (may not necessarily be a good thing though :P) but im sure its a relief to be on the right side of the exam...I say forget auditing n whatnot - Go for the dairy farm...it IS a great idea...:)
    "keep it classy people" - good one lmao...

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  43. Congratulatiosn CA!!! :D  AAAhhhh!! Tell us about the celebration!

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  44. Sathyanarayanan VisweswaranFebruary 3, 2012 at 1:31 PM

    First of all congratulations on your becoming a CA!! Welcome to the fraternity (isnt that a sexist word??!!) I have been following your blog for a while now, and yes, you do have a very engaging way with words. Being a fellow Tam Brahm your blog has a very high readability quotient for me!
    Do not let your new found status impede your continuing the blog. wishing you all the very best!
    P.S. I am way senior to you in the profession probably a peer of your dad!

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  45. congrats!!post very funny as usual :)

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  46. Congrats! Welcome to boring CA world.

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  47. Love your writing, started following your blog only very recently but it is refreshing. Also, I wonder how a voracious beef eating mallu would have to say about this post, I am sure they would think differently when it comes to cows interesting them - it's mostly on the dinner table. 

    Anyhow, keep writing. Besh besh, prmadham!

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  48. as always brings a smile..... KPMG is awesome .. nd congrats .. :) 

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  49. Haha..this hilarious! KPMG lol

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  50.  And, it is great to be 'hit' this way! Helps! Btw, lovely post Lavanyaa. Congrats for the CA and all the best for the KPMG director's slot!

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  51. Lovely!
    "keep it classy" and 'KPMG'- Hilarious.
    I've wanted to write like you (the witty, funny satirical way of expressing daily life) and I must say you are excellent and I can't help admire your smooth flow and humour.
    P.S. veetla suthi poda siollu:P

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  52. Congratulations...
    picturebite.com

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  53. I am sure there is a CA Fail somewhere here singing "Cow Cow, Holy Cow..."

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  54. I have been reading you for a while now. You already know you write well and it is like second nature to you, but do you know you have the ability to make a man fall for you by your witty writing? You would've changed the famous 'a way to a man's heart is through his stomach' to ' a way to a man's heart is through your writing' !!! keep going -- humor is a rarity these days. Let's keep it alive :) God bless!

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  55. classic…


    mumbaiflowerplaza.com

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  56. Lovely post Lavanyaaa!!! Love your blog and want to pass on the Versatile Blogger award to you...it is waiting for you at my blog...do pick it up!
    http://foodiliciousnan.wordpress.com/2012/03/02/im-a-versatile-blogger/

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  57. Hariharan KrishnamurthyMarch 7, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    Hi Lavanya... Congrats ... i am feeling good now ..
    Felt bad after I publically asked about your results last time ..

    Now go do some more audits !! .. vouch and verify !! :)

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  58. congrats..on CA!!..Dairy farm is indeed a great idea.. and maybe you could hire KPMG as consultants :)

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  59. Amazing the visit was
    worth…


    bangalorewithlove.com     

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  60. Yummy!!!!
    Bookmarked the site…


    Deccansojourn.com

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  61. Congratss for your CA & dairy farm idea ...:)   (Saani thattara job irunthaa yenakku poottu kudunga yajamaan!) 

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  62. It was a good experience to read the articles and contents on this site.
    http://www.deccansojourn.com

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  63. Come to think of it, cow-ing is so much easier. If only life were that easy.Fun read!

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Please note: The views expressed in this blog are the author's own. However, she is not responsible for the comments that have been left on the page and the same need not necessarily reflect her viewpoint on the same and are entirely the commenters' own. Ok, now read the rest of the blog already.


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