Wednesday, July 18, 2012

On Molestation, And What YOU Can Do About It

I write this post, knowing fully well that 95% of actual/potential molesters can't read this, or can't be reached with this. We're in a country where education is scarce, forget internet access and English comprehension. What I do know when I write this, is that I can however reach 95% of actual/potential molestation victims, namely, you, your sisters, your mother, your aunts, your nieces, your girl friends, and through them, their help, their daughters, their neighbors and their acquaintances.

Again, I want to emphasize that what I'm writing is about molestation, not rape. I can't talk about rapists, not just in India, but anywhere on the planet. Some rapists will rape no matter where you are, who you are, and what you wear because they are psychos with such deep rooted psycho-ness that there is no country without rape. Thankfully, rape as such is a lot rarer than the sexual harassment and assault that we have all been subjected to. 
Molestation on the other hand, in India, is something that our wonderful local men indulge in as some kind of pastime. It happens everywhere - on public transport, in workplaces, hell, even at homes. The average molester is of the opinion that groping or touching a random woman is no big deal. Why?
a. As far as he can see, no one cares, not even the girl, and 
b. He’s not going to be punished. 
Why would he think that? 
Simple.  When an individual touches us, or gropes us in the bus, in the train, in the middle of the crowd, most of us don’t make it a big deal right then, right there. We don’t, we just don’t. We’re shocked, we’re anguished, we’re traumatized, we’re ashamed, but how many of us actually slap him, kick him where it hurts, or make a scene? This is why 90% of molesters even molest. Our silence is incentivising him to continue molesting, and letting him to continue thinking that we don't care and that he can get free gratification. To the molester, molesting us becomes "no big deal," like taking a wallet off the road, which might be wrong, but is something you'll never get punished for. 
So what is the solution? 

Some people think teaching your sons to respect women is the answer, but guess what, most of India's 60 crore men are not young enough to listen to their mothers and fathers nor learn a brand new set of values overnight. While in the most idealistic case, you can reach 100% of boys still in school, that leaves 20 years before those kids become a majority of our adult population. 

And honestly, I don’t think any of us can take 20 more years of molestation.
As far as I’m concerned, before we teach a mostly illiterate country and its sons about respect and about equality, we need to teach them that molesting a woman, will only bring pain, shame and humiliation to the molester. So tell every female acquaintance you know – sisters, friends, aunts, nieces, your help, their sisters, their friends, their aunts, and every other girl they know, and every other girl you know to not stay silent, to not stay mute when something happens. To react. To make a scene. Right then, right there. To kick the man where it hurts. To not be afraid to carry pepper spray* and to not be afraid to use it. Most importantly, tell them to not be ashamed or guilty when something like this happens, because it was never their fault. 

From personal experience, in Chennai at least, I’ve found that making a scene and calling a molester out, especially in a public space, works, because in this city, if there’s anything men like doing more than groping women, it’s playing hero. So do your best to gather a crowd, bring their attention to what's happened and ask them if they'd stay silent if the same thing happened to their sisters or daughters or wife. Rest assured, they won't stay silent. When an individual molester gets jungle justice in a public space, it sends out a very clear message to everyone watching - if you molest, you’re going to get mauled. At this point, women, if you see another woman calling out her molester, go and support her right then, right there instead of hesitating/thinking/coming back home and blogging about it or whatever.  

So before you teach your son to not rape, teach your sisters to fight back. All these years, we've been letting molesters violate our space, simply because we didn't stand up to them. If there must be change, then this is where it starts - stand up for yourself,because you're not some delicate wilting wallflower, you're a woman. And just how progressive are you if you still need a man to fight your battles? 

Notes:

2. I understand some women have reservations about creating a scene because of the possible "consequences" it would have. I'd like to point out that this some kind of effect too much Tamil Cinema can have and no, the average molester is not the average thug/goon. In the chance that you do feel unsafe or threatened after, stick to a group while travelling the next couple of days and always, always  remember that what you did was right. 

3. This is a bit of a tangent, but necessary - Teach your 4 and 5 year olds the difference between a good touch and a bad touch and that if anyone has a bad touch, they should tell you, no matter who that person is. If your teenager is taking public transport, warn her of what could happen, and tell her she shouldn't be afraid to yell for attention and/or help. 

PSThis post is a result of a conversation I had with @subfusced yesterday. Do read his views on this topic. 


Clarification (27.07.2012)

It seems a few people have an issue with a couple of statements in this post. I hope the following clarification will help.

A. "95% of actual/potential molesters can't read this, or can't be reached with this."

I did not claim that 95% of molesters are completely illiterate. I merely claimed that they cannot read and comprehend an argument in English, which this post is. According to the census of India (the latest official stats are 10 years old), only 3.7% of Indians have a college degree, and only 7.7% of Indians have finished 12th standard. (http://www.censusindia.gov.in/Census_Data_2001/Census_Data_Online/Social_and_cultural/Educational_level_and_Age_groups.aspx) Even assuming very liberally that this number has grown by 50% in the last 10 years, that puts graduates at 5.5% and 12th pass-outs at 10%. While several news articles claim that many of our graduates cannot even comprehend English (http://www.deccanherald.com/content/266674/four-10-indian-engineers-cant.html,http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703515504576142092863219826.html), even assuming liberally that 100% of all people who have a 12th+ education can comprehend English language adequately, that still means 90% of Indians cannot comprehend written English. Assuming molesters are equally likely in every educational segment, then it means 90% of molesters can not read this blog either. Sorry for stating 90% as 95%, but my point is that when you write in English in India, you write for a very small section of society, certainly <10%, unless it is something that an educated person can freely pass on to another less-educated person within the confines of normal social interactions.

B. "Thankfully, rape as such is a lot rarer than the sexual harassment and assault that we have all been subjected to."

According to the National Crime Records Bureau, there were 24,206 reported cases of rape in India in 2011 (http://articles.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/2012-07-03/india/32522876_1_ncrb-report-cases-cognizable-crimes). Against a population of 600 million women, that makes about 0.04 incidents per 1000 women per year. We all know that most rape victims in India are afraid to report cases to the police, and even very liberally assuming that ONLY 1 OUT OF 100 of rape incidents were reported to the police, that caps rape at 2.4 million potential incidents a year. Against a female population of 600 million, that is about 4 incidents per 1000 women per year. Compare this statistic to sexual harassment in the form of groping on a public bus, having lewd comments passed on or being threatened/ stalked by strangers, or even having your trust betrayed by a friend/ relative/ employee who touches you in perverted ways. I do not know even one girl who HAS NOT been harassed in such ways, and I am shocked to know that there are those who believe that this form of sexual harassment (which this blog post is about) is not significantly more numerous than rape. In other words, how can you possibly believe that the number of women sexually harassed per year in India is in the order of 1's/1000 or 10's/100 instead of 100's/1000, when almost every girl and woman you know tells you that they have been sexually harassed at some point in their lives?
 

53 comments:

  1. Very well written. This will be passed on.

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  2. Neatly written. :-)

    Also, I have heard repeatedly by women who have undergone self-defense classes, that based on situation, the woman at that moment will have to find a safe place and will have to physically remove herself from the scene if she can. At least that's what's told here I am told. Unfortunately regardless of how buff, muscular, strong and wise a woman/girl is, we are genetically slightly at a disadvantage to the average man.

    I know my daughter will be going through a course before she leaves home for college. I cnanot stress how important it is to educate the girls even when they are in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Shit starts there for most, especially in India when it's all blown under the rug and well, the numbers are large.

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  3. I will add that once caught the offenders should be punished severely.The authorities should not be lenient on this and yes not corrupt.

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  4. Effective article: an eye-opener to ladies

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  5. Will pass it on to my kid..."
    if there’s anything men like doing more than groping women, it’s playing hero" is Gem material.

    Read more: http://www.chutneycase.com/2012/07/on-molestation-and-what-you-can-do.html#ixzz20ykaThh2

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  6. Some very good points made, Lavanya. I agree, no point in being a silent spectator and blogging and creating awareness about it later. Most of what you say would work very well for Chennai.


    Thanks for the pepper spray tutorial. Very helpful.

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  7. very sensible indeed. I advocate that all girls be taught to defend themselves. It doesn't take much to learn the basics - few weeks. Teach them to keep themselves physically fit. Carry legally offensive items like sharp long pins. Or even syringes. Most molesters are cowards. Pepper spray is an excellent point you made. There are several others - remember: offense is the best defense.

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  8. I also have taught my kids the diff between a good touch and bad touch.

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  9. I don't know if things are this simple. I agree that you should yell and make a scene but let's not forget that many, many cases of molestation happen in places where it would be unsafe to make a scene. So this would only work in environments where you'd fell safe and I'd not advise a woman to aggravate the aggressor, wrong though he is, at the cost of putting herself in danger. Also, take it from a person who has stood up for herself, and yes, made many a scene (in Chennai too): be prepared to also be judged by both men and women alike (on what you're wearing, your background, your upbringing, etc. etc. etc.) and don't depend on others being on your side--sometimes, it just ain't gonna happen. And that just doesn't matter--you should know you're on the right and the point is to shame the culprit. And lastly, don't be too harsh on yourself if you slip up sometimes and don't defend yourself. It happens to everyone, I don't know why. Sometimes, we freeze. Sometimes, we're too nervous or scared. Sometimes we're picking up unconscious signals that the situation isn't in our favour, that maybe we're surrounded by people who are unsympathetic. I don't know what it is, but remember that it's never easy for a woman to break the status quo--we've been socialized into maintaining it, more so Indian women. But in the end, be prepared for all these situations, and kick ass! :)

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  10. Very well written. I have also taught my kids the diff between a good touch and bad touch.

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  11. Apparently, speaking out and/or hiting the molester does not work in Delhi. Did not work with me, but then I didn't care about anyone coming to my aid. I broke his nose anyway. Oh, and only old aunty tried to stop me so I snarled and hurled abuses at her. In Hindi. Yes, I'm proud of it.

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  12. I don't quite get how this would work. If I were one of the onlookers, am I to blindly take the girl's word for it? (unless I've seen the person committing the act). Also, I don't think most molesters are bold enough to attempt such things in places where you can get immediate help by raising an alarm. Invariably such incidents happen when you are in secluded areas or when the numbers are overwhelmingly high on the molesters' side for onlookers to try and do something. (which I believe happened in Guwahati)

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  13. Ask any girl you know how many times they've had their butt or breast grabbed on a bus. Happens almost every time on a bus. Guwahati type incidents are rare. Daily molestation is not.

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  14. There was actually a very good video on ''Good touch, bad touch'' in Satyamev Jayate episode about child abuse. Maybe you can point to that link in your notes too.


    The other disturbing aspect is how Indian men think that just because a woman is foreign, she is akin to a prostitute and can be touched/filmed anywhere anytime. Many foreign friends of mine have complained that when they glare at a molestor he acts surprised i.e he wonders why such women (who he thinks are used to sleeping around) react to molestation. I feel so ashamed and am lost for words, when I hear of such incidents.

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  15. An absolutely meaningful post. Given the current situation. You nailed it lavanya. I would also like to point out that there are guys too who hate the molestors. In my opinion those animals are nothing but an idiosyncrasy in the human psyche. The sort of stuff you get when you have 1.2 billion and counting people on board. I personally apologize to all ladies out there for those idiots out there. My only request is that please don't generalise all males in my age group as such. We are human beings. We are supposed to be complex and unique. There are assholes like them, and there are also sympathizers in the same universe.

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  16. Most girls who use public transport are so shy they do not even say a word when they are molested and when they do, have no doubt that they will not lie.

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  17. Eswarprasath JayaramanJuly 19, 2012 at 1:34 AM

    Hi there..Appreciate your effort. Like Jan had commented, I don't know if it is as simple as it was said.


    Thought it appears to be brave to confront such people in public, given the current situation in India, one can never tell what is the background of the abuser/molester. Background in the sense, is he just yet another passerby or he has some economic-political powers. Also the judicial system in India is not something that I feel very happy about. So expecting any kind of justice (irrespective of the gender) or getting these people punished looks very unlikely to me unless the victim has their own power/support or a good advertising from media.

    Also after being humiliated, there is no guarantee that they might not attack again like this acid attack victim - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2173343/Acid-attack-victim-pleads-death.html?ito=feeds-newsxml . One might say this is one off case. But my point is when some one is planning to confront these people, they should be aware of what they are stepping into. Humiliating some one in public can go either ways.

    So if you ask me what is the solution? I really dont know.
    May be should project self as a bold person(even if not bold really), walk with held high, look in the eyes and be safe as much as possible. Finally if confronting, know the consequences and act wisely.

    Sorry to say this, but without a proper judicial system where concerns are addressed immediately, I really dont have much hope.

    And if you ask me what I will do, if some one does something like that in front of me, again I dont know. I guess it will be just purely reactive based on that moment.

    Thanks.

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  18. I swear how I jus want a time machine to be able to go back and kick every man in the nuts or punch him on his nose who stood behind or fell on me in DTC buses in Delhi. While I did turn back and tell them to stand away, and an odd stern threat of a slap, I believe i let those Bas****s off too easy. Girls in Chennai can't even imagine how life in Delhi for a girl is. How I hope the world is a more respectable place for girls by th time my daughter is older. In any case, Im gonna teach her to kick some nuts.

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  19. Ok.. The point is sometimes you feel ashamed to even tell in public what the molester did. its disgusting. And another point is in a crowd you never no who did it is someone does molest you from behind.

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  20. Wooo! I always thought you were just 'mildly' spicy...boy..i mean...girl u can get real angry! A very meaningful post...just hoping it reaches the people who need a kick where it hurts...great job :)

    I have been following your blog for sometime now, and this way way too different than the other posts...keep up the good work.

    cheers,
    santosh

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  21. I've seen girls overreact umpteen number of times when guys standing behind accidentally fall forward.

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  22. hmmmm...valid point about the average molester not being an out and out vilain...but from what i have seen on suburban trains and also on ptc buses..the average molester you talk about is rarely alone- for they are as rule cowards and need a crowd to egg them on to do such acts (lets leave alone the depraved psychos here- just talking about average)..in that case the girl who attempts any sort of physical retaliation like you suggest wil have to think twice. the only solution would be to raise a alarm - loud and strong...that seems practical to me. or else if you are regualrly harassed get a friend or a father figure to go along with you for a few days..they will get the hint...i know i am not being very helpful here..but we do have to face upto realities..

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  23. Most people replying to this thread are used to the "typical" "Indian" / "tamil" mentality or cowards so to say. You don't have to be a hero per se. But when someone dares to molest in public and girls stay quiet for fear of reprehension you are doing a disservice to your fellow people. These guys go on and continue to do that to others. And at least from the town I am from in TN, you just got to ask for help. Anyone going by will tear that guy out. Not the case in Chennai but you would still get help. And no, most molesters are equally cowards. Don't be cowed down. If this has to stop, girls have to fight back. There is simply no other go.

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  24. I agree with everything that you say here about how to educate. But I think that there is a greater issue here - one of general apathy. If you will bear with me for my digression, I will recount a personal anecdote that happened to me in Madras, in the December of 2009.


    I was to catch my return train from Madras to Bangalore and was travelling to Central by the local train, from Mylapore. I got off at Park Town and was heading out when I noticed a tussle between two gumpals, of what appeared to be college boys. There was a lot of punching etc going on, but the whole operation was not at all efficient - I mean, unlike in the films, the punches were not landing and it was a general thulpathon. At that moment, I was inclined to interfere and pull some people off, because, frankly, I felt that I was strong enough to handle even 3 or 4 of them and I expected a few others to join me, and believe me, there were a bazillion onlookers; it was about 1 pm. I asked a person next to me and they said "ungaLukkedukku saar idellaam". Even as he was saying that, some chap pulled out a machete and hacked a guy's hand. I ran to the nearby police station and had the said chap apprehended, but not before asking more onlookers a very blatant WTF. No response followed. The policeman also asked me to scoot from the location, but that was just him being nice.


    I don't think that what happened in Guwahati could have happened if even a minor fraction of the onlookers had acted on their outrage, or even had been outraged. The moment such an incident happens, either the victim is utterly demoralised and cannot face anyone or if he / she does come out and talk about it, most idiots will call that drama queening, which is cock. I recommend that you add a suggestion to your list, viz. if you have been molested / hurt or for that matter targeted in any manner, PLEASE be outraged. Please talk about it, and bloody hell, milk it for sympathy. And, don't be hypocritical about it. If you see someone going through it, please help. History might not record you, but your friends and sometimes even foes might remember you fondly.

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  25. I remember our college days when we had our bags sticking out to the side any guy acting funny was or have a safety pin for groping hands .However we never had the guts to protest or say anything . Surprisingly it is not only lower classes who do this ..I had an army officer seated next to me in one of the fauji auditoriums groping me during a movie .Luckily my sis had a pin which was well and truly jabbed but the guy quickly disappeared so I could not follow with a complaint ...which would have put his career in jeopardy .

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  26. "A mostly illiterate country"? Do you know your country's illiteracy rates? Or the definition of literacy? You should be ashamed of writing something like that.

    And it is all very well and good of you to tell women to raise a hue and cry when they are molested, but it is difficult to do. Most victims, the ones who suffer the bad incidents are really in no position to raise a voice by themselves.Born and brought up in conservative Indian families, I really don't blame them for saying nothing when such things happen. If some are brave enough to raise a voice, nothing like it, but for the majority who aren't, such incidents reflect the failure on the part of us, the general masses, and the state laws, to provide a safe environment for that individual. And the incidents which happen on public transport, are mostly just light nudges/shoves, since no one would be stupid enough to risk an actual grope in full public view, and more often than not, the women are everready to jump at the slightest provocation and land a couple of slaps, without even once thinking about whether it could actually have been accidental. The real cases, the problem ones occur in situations where it is difficult to raise a voice and where the victim is such she mostly would not be brave enough to.

    I say this having been a victim myself as a teenager, I know the terror of it. All I did that day was run home as fast as my legs would carry me that day and then never travel by that route again. And no matter how many such blog posts I read I know it couldnt have changed what I did that day.

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  27. I'm sorry but do *YOU* know what literacy actually means according to the Indian government? Allow me to educate you - it means being able to read and write your own name in one language. Let me repeat, read and write ONLY your own name. 32% of Indians can't even do that and most of the other 68% didn't even finish high school. So, yes, a majority of Indians lack the "ability to identify, understand, interpret, create, communicate, compute
    and use printed and written materials associated with varying contexts."

    In the rest of your comment, you're just saying that like most other Indians, you don't want to even contemplate solving your own problems. Instead, you'd rather wait for a random white knight to emerge and solve all of your problems, just like in a masala movie. Education is wasted on you if you learned nothing from Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi or even Obama. You should be ashamed that your parents and the country spent money educating you.

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  28. gropings are common on buses, trains, on crowded streets, markets, lifts... wherever there is a crowd. secluded areas are good too for groping, but crowds are best to provide anonymity - the guy can easily mix into the crowd and become unidentifiable. in a secluded spot, it is easier to isolate the groper than it is on a crowded street - so the groper would be at a slight disadvantage in a secluded area.

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  29. As much as I agree with your views about raising awareness about molestation and rape, I beg to differ with the broad generalization that 95% of molesters or rapists are illiterate. Many, and too many of them, are well educated college graduates. Hell, many professors are known to be under-cover molesters! Children and women, in many cases aren't safe from their own families. Molesters and rapists are liberally distributed among all, and I mean ALL backgrounds.
    I don't think this has anything to do with the molesters' education, as much as it does with their views about inappropriately touching another person, mostly women and children! They are very much aware of the fact that they're hurting their victims and do it for the sheer pleasure of watching them suffer. Most serial molesters are usually of the outrageously false impression that the victim, although in pain, is actually liking it and the resistance, if any, that they put up is just a ruse to play 'hard-to-get'! It is a state of psychosis that the perpetrator undergoes. As much as I'd like to believe that punishing them publicly or imprisoning them works as a deterrent, it is quite obvious today that such punitive measures haven't worked so far.
    Now, should there be more awareness of the existing problem? OF COURSE! YES! UNDOUBTEDLY! The VICTIM should come out in the open and realize that what happened to them IS NOT THEIR FAULT! What happened to them is the gravest of all personal violations. It is the greatest transgression of individual freedom. But I also think that governments should invest more in scientific and sociological research into finding the root cause of the problem in the society. What causes people to behave in such a way? Why have molestation and rape become such parasitic problems in every human society? How do we uproot it? These are some of the questions that need to be dealt with, IMMEDIATELY!
    Well, personally, if it were upto me, I'd like to torture and kill every molester and rapist that exists and I wish every victim had the right to do the same to their violators! But then, I do realize that this is as unrealistic as believing that the problem does not exist at all. My opinions stem from having known and observed some people in my life who have undergone the physical and mental pain of molestation. In spite of them being extremely close to me, I can't even begin to imagine the degree of physical torment and mental anguish that they've experienced. I look forward to a day when no person would ever have to worry about being violated in any way.

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  30. Also, I have heard horror stories about 'women' molesting children and other women. We hear, ALMOST ALWAYS, of men abusing other people, we ALMOST NEVER hear of 'women molesters'. Although, the statistical likelihood of such an event occurring is quite low, the problem certainly DOES exist. Therefore, the awareness raised must be about 'any' person touching another person inappropriately. Children, at an early age, need to be taught about what 'touching appropriately' is and what is not. They need to understand that they should report any transgression. They must be taught that it's NOT THEIR FAULT if someone else violates them. At the same time, it would be irresponsible and inhumane to create a social paranoia by keeping children and women locked up in their homes.

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  31. Good points, but you've misinterpreted the 95%. What she means is that less than 5% of Indians have internet and read blogs. So, assuming molesters come equally from all sections of society, 95% of molesters will not even have the ability (even leaving inclination aside) to read this blog.

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  32. I know this isn't really about your post; but I love what this girl did.I love that woman....
    http://revsrules.blogspot.com/2012/07/and-i-am-so-proud-of-myself.html

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  33. The least what you could have done was search the internet for the working definition of literacy in India. It, by no means, being able to read and write only one's own name. And while at that you would have checked the actual literacy rates too. By the way, it is 74% and that of males is 82%, the target population in this post.


    As for the situation in Mumbai, actual attempts of indecent acts are far less common than accidents, given the crowded public places which are being referred to here. These are, more often than not, met with furious and dramatic reactions. Men have to be extra careful not to even accidentally touch anyone, which is not bad at all and is the situation what the author here wishes to achieve.


    Then there are the less crowded situations where the victim is not helpless but the assailant will assume freedom in the absence of a reaction and here there are no question of accidental brushes. Reacting here is a must and all those measures mentioned in this post are required here, yes, even carrying pepper spray and being brave to use it. Coming from a conservative family and being shy are no excuses. This is the part about which parents and children need education the most.


    Satyamev Jayate's child abuse episode did a very good job of educating parents how to teach their children to react in similar situations.

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  34. Hey, I knew about the literacy rates, and the definition, which is why I could point out your mistake. Unlike you, I didn't have to Google it before posting my comment.

    If you don't know how to participate in rational arguments or even look at someone else's point of view, forget taking a bit of criticism in your stride, then please stay away from writing opinion posts on your blog. Stick to the funny ones which you're good at.

    The point being made here was that in certain situations, you cannot always expect the victim to raise a voice and protect herself. There are all kinds of people out there, and not everyone may be as brave as you are, or as privileged as you have been to get an education. So it is as much a role of society to provide a safe environment as it is of the individual to ensure their own well-being.

    And it is childish on your part to insult someone for their inability to react in an adverse situation, which is basically a personality trait and not some voluntary decision, and take that as an oppurtunity to insult the person, rather than encouraging them to do better in future.

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  35. Controlled anger is a good thing in this case, as you have very well demonstrated.... we are all fed up with the feeling up and the filthy touches that come our way during the normal course of our life - but hey, this is NOT supposed to be NORMAL, right? We just have to stop accepting it as a 'normal' occurance for anything to change. Well written!

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  36. Controlled anger is a good thing in this case, as you have very well demonstrated.... we are all fed up with the feeling up and the filthy touches that come our way during the normal course of our life - but hey, this is NOT supposed to be NORMAL, right? We just have to stop accepting it as a 'normal' occurance for anything to change. Well written!

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  37. Ok, 2 things -

    1.
    Anon isn't me. In case you haven't noticed, I haven't gotten to
    replying to any of the comments yet. Please don't randomly accuse
    without knowing what's really happening. So basically, your argument is
    with this Anon, not me.

    2. Coming to your actual comment, I have only one question - what do you propose as a solution that is to be implemented to stop this issue?

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  38. You just read my mind. Concur wholeheartedly with you about this being the only solution for now. A friend pointed me to this post because of a similar rant that I made. Just last week, I chased a molester down the Kapaleeswar temple street in Chennai, and that dude's not forgetting being caught by the collar in front of 50 people for a while!

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  39. i came across this a few weeks back, maybe you should read this

    http://www.merinautanki.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/are-women-toys.html

    and

    http://www.merinautanki.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/hurtoutraged-and-helpless.html

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  40. I'd like to add that it's not just the gropers who deserve to be publicly shamed. I've had to walk past local louts who think nothing of making a woman uncomfortable by passing inappropriate comments and calling out to her.


    While this may seem insignificant next to physical molestation, it still brings home the fact that if you're a woman, you will be a target. Be it a busy road, the lane right next to your house, or a public place like a bus stop. It sends out a clear message. Don't dress 'provocatively', don't be good-looking and don't mind us looking if you are.

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  41. If Rajini were to call all eveteasers cowards or desadrohis in his next movie, maybe we will see an effect, no?

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  42. Bharadwaj SheshadriAugust 14, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    Although I agree with most, but not all, of what you say, I come here to read light- hearted comedy. I must say, with the above disclaimer, that - because of the uncharacteristic tone of this post - this post has left me disappointed. Women's rights (and a whole bunch of other rights) will continue to be disrespected as long as we have a completely lackadaisical legal and judicial system. All the power we are granted in this form of government, is the power to vote. We do have a power to protest, but that, obviously, isn't working. There are quite a few people in the demographic that reads your blog to defend women's rights and I respect them. However, very few enjoy the ability to compose quite as well as you do and this post is - in my opinion - a waste of your space. Then again, I've just commented on women's rights, so maybe I'm wrong. Do respond.

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  43. I find it quite amusing that you picked to write about molestation of all topics. I have been following your blog for quite sometime now and I find it amusing that its the same you who appreciated the music director of Kolaveri fame for having composed music for the most stupid song ever. This song was immensely chauvinistic and can be regarded as molestation against women who dump their good for nothing boy friends. . Secondly you must understand the fact that not all women are of Rani Lakshmi Bai types and often cannot shout out. I have seen situations where the woman who accused the man of pinching her bosom was made fun of by saying mean things like you are so flat who would even touch you. Now coming to the point of literacy and molestation .. where is the connect. I agree with you about fighting back but for how long anf against how many. As long as there are differences in this world molestation will be there. There is no end

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  44. I find it quite amusing that you picked to write about molestation of all topics. I have been following your blog for quite sometime now and I find it amusing that its the same you who appreciated the music director of Kolaveri fame for having composed music for the most stupid song ever. This song was immensely chauvinistic and can be regarded as molestation against women who dump their good for nothing boy friends.
    Secondly you must understand the fact that not all women are of Rani Lakshmi Bai types and often cannot shout out. I have seen situations where the woman who accused the man of pinching her bosom was made fun of by saying mean things like you are so flat who would even touch you. Now coming to the point of literacy and molestation .. where is the connect. I agree with you about fighting back but for how long anf against how many. As long as there are differences in this world molestation will be there. There is no end. Amen

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  45. very informative blog...


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  46. Got somewhat similar gyan from my mom... Works well for me... I don't even 've to kick, slap that guy myself... Crowd does it... :D
    N places where I think I won't get help, I either keep an umbrella (not the small ones we get, but the big one, 1 feet or so... ) or walk very briskly... Therefore (touch wood) thankfully 've gone through very few incidents like these, although I travel very frequently by public transport (both Bangalore and Chennai)

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  47. Very well said.. Girls are afraid to open up about such incidents is because parents never create the necessary awareness in them.. I request all parents to please teach their girls to fight against evil rather than being submissive.

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  48. Thanks for the link to making your own pepper spray!! Congratulations on your engagement!!

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  49. This comment has been removed by the author.

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