2013

Happy New Year! I’ve never been much of a resolutions person (I was that annoying kid who’d go “My resolution is to not have any resolution ...

Happy New Year! I’ve never been much of a resolutions person (I was that annoying kid who’d go “My resolution is to not have any resolution Miss” every time school reopened after the holidays), and although the last few years I’ve been trying to break out of it, I haven’t really met with much success in framing resolutions for myself - My resolution for 2012 had been to survive the Mayan Apocalypse, so you can see where I come from.

Anyway, this year, since I’m going to go through major life changes and such, I thought I’d have some resolutions down, but the more I tried to come up with them, the more I realized that my changing depended a lot on other things changing, because it just doesn’t make sense to live in a noncooperative environment. (Also because nitpicking others is just easier and more fun.) Here are my resolutions for the world at large:  

  1. Arvind Swamy: 
        Hey Arvind Swamy, stay on that treadmill. I just saw the Kadal teaser, and God it feels GREAT to see you back on the screen again bearing so much as a ten percent resemblance to the guy who I fell in love with when I was 6 years old (You brought out my inner creepy kid). As far as I'm concerned, you're the original Tamil Brahmin Poster Boy and it gives me immense joy to see you look like the Tamil Brahmin Poster Boy, okay fine, Uncle that you used to be as opposed to the Monster That Ate The Tamil Brahmin Poster Boy For Lunch.    

Arvind Swamy? No, Arvind Did Not See Me Do This. 

















2. My Hair: 




This Is A Pretty Accurate Representation Of What I'd Call A Regular Hair Day (I don't wear those sunglasses though) 
Dear Hair, Hi. I believe this is the year you should absolutely resolve to start behaving. I have spent double of Ethiopia’s Gross Domestic Product on buying hair products and other miscellaneous industrial strength chemicals trying to tame you, not to mention burning entire paychecks on salon “treatments” which were as effective as Manmohan Singh’s oratorical abilities. So start behaving or we might have to go through the Kerala Vaidyashala route again. 


3. My Wedding

Dear Wedding, I am only getting one shot at you, so please happen the way I expect you to. I want to remember you as the two days where I was undoubtedly the centre of attraction, a picture of total grace and poise while still holding on to my patent je ne sais quoi charm. Ok fine, if that's a little too much to ask, at least ensure that I don't take as many bathroom breaks as I usually do. I have this recurring nightmare that I would need one just before the thaali is tied and that my husband-to-be ends up tying it around my father.
Anyway, so we've got one of those hipster independent wedding photographers for the wedding, you know, for those candid photos that everyone goes all crazy on Facebook about. This would be awesome if it weren't for the fact that I'm strictly a "Chin Up, Stand Straight, Smile Please" kind of person because my smile is (to put it mildly) one of those crazy big smiles that look very creepy in pictures. I honestly hope that I get to talk to the photographer guy about this because knowing me, this might just be how the "candid" pictures turn out.


Yep. 














That's my list for change this year. What's yours?


Photo Credits: 

1. http://www.halloweenplayground.com/afrowigs-c-254_307.html
2. http://beautifulindianbrides.tumblr.com/
3. http://www.chitramala.in/gossips/arvind-swamy-s-costly-settlement-for-divorce-123325.html
4. http://movies.infoonlinepages.com/movienews-kollywood/arvind-swamy-back-to-form.html
5. http://www.cinemastrikesback.com/?p=473

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23 comments

  1. OMG! The last picture is too hilarious! All the best for the wedding.. :)

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  2. I kept reading "wedding" as "Husband". I really expected you to make resolutions for your husband. If your childhood birthday video is anything to go by, the photographer should have it easy :-)
    But you were a cute little girl then and now you are... a wom... err... a lady? :P

    Like you, I have never been a fan of resolutions, especially during New Year. In the words of Calvin,

    "Resolutions? Me? Just what are you implying? That I need to change?? Well buddy, as far as I am concerned, I am perfect the way I am!"

    I don't remember having any New Year resolutions, ever. But I have started on Spanish, not as a resolution, but now I wonder if I should make it mine. Let me try it for some more time. If my interest doesn't change, as it usually does, then I might consider that as my achievement for the year.

    Oh.. and Happy New Year. With the wedding on the way, this is going to be an unforgettable year for you.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you very much! All the best for the spanish lessons & thanks again for the wishes. It is most definitely going to be a year to remember!

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  3. Funny as ever, especially the wedding bit. That last photo is the story of my life :) Even my new year resolutions might go down that route.

    And finally someone else who knows frequent bathroom breaks are no small matter, particularly on the day of one's wedding. I worry about it being too cold on my wedding day (I might have to wear a sweater over my saree). I am also worried that the day after my wedding I might discover that my husband has some dealbreakingly gross habit.

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    1. Hahaha, fist bump. I've come to learn that there is some vratam of some sort that has to be done in these iyengar weddings which totally prevents the bathroom issues...or so I hope. Thanks!

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  4. bahaha! So much easier making resolutions for someone else. I always felt Arvind Swamy looked soo Tam-bram. Even when I had no idea what Tam-bram was. True story.

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    1. Yep, much easier :D Also, tambrahm = chamathu. Surely you know what chamathu means :p

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  5. By the way, don't know if people told you ... but on the day of your wedding, you are observing a vrata, and it requires the requisite madi! So bathroom breaks are a strict no no! (I believe this is accurate, though can't tell for sure, being unmarried myself! :) )

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    Replies
    1. I was told about the vratam myself - hopefully it does what it has to!! :D

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  6. Haha ! I also had this nightmare . That what would I do if nature calls between the ceremony? U know if u keep fearing it, its likely to happen. Cos when you fear something the whole universe conspires in such a way that it happens...(thats the moral I concluded by reading 'Alchemist' ) :D Good luck on the wedding !

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  7. u are funny girl:) good luck with all your resolutions.

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  8. really nice post :)
    anyway i have a blog too...........
    http://ambarishgopinath.blogspot.in/
    try to view it :)

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  9. Ha did you know Malayalee weddings are actually less than 5 minutes action overall?
    I now know why it was made like that.. :) Enjoy the wedding day

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  10. Hi!

    The Sunshine Award is symbolized by a flower that one blogger can give to other “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”.

    I’ve nominated you for the Sunshine Award at
    http://sunsandstarsanddreams.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/sunshine-awards/

    ReplyDelete
  11. so we've got one of those hipster independent wedding photographers for the wedding


    details pls

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  12. Just imagining if you had fell in love with Rajinikanth, what would your recommendations for a stronger and thicker hair would be?

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  15. Hilarious! On the topic of photos, my school portraits consisted of the photographer tilting my head so that my posture was to the side and I stared into the camera with a sideways look. Never understood why I COULDN'T just follow the "Chin Up, Stand Straight, Smile Please" routine, actually!

    (Sorry for the spam of comments. Clearly I edit and re-edit.)

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